Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Robert M. Reed on July 17, 2010 at 11:41am

If that is how you think, and that is a picture of you then I would totaly date you!

Permalink Reply by Scott Macauley on July 17, 2010 at 11:45am

Yeah, I think the same problem presents itself for most atheists. Those of us who are "out" about our atheism are such a disparate group that when it comes to trying to find each other, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. I've tried to date but once it gets to that point where we start talking about religion, the women lose interest in a blink. Sometimes at the mere mention of my atheism, sometimes after a heated discussion, but it happens every time. It probably doesn't help that I'm outspoken and passionate, but for me that's the only way to be with regard to that subject matter.

Permalink Reply by Zel Morris on July 17, 2010 at 12:08pm

I feel your pain. I live FL and to be an out atheist is very tough. Top it off to be single and wanting to date again, well, buy yourself single ticket to the theater.

The tough part is, when you start to date someone, me being male, the women seem a little dumb, but I keep hoping it is an act that they have been taught by southern society, and that once they know I want a full equal partner they will come out.....but alas, no. They want to be babied, me to be a father figure, tell em what to do...I want a whole, real person.....an atheist would be great, but down here, most are under rocks afraid of loosing family, friends, jobs if they were to be found out.

Being an out atheist, I recognize that a lot of male and females, have been hiding there true self so long that, coming out, feeling their way in socializing situations, may be tough. No real exp as a whole person yet. That may be what you are seeing.

Good luck, there are good men out there, and atheists like me to boot.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on July 17, 2010 at 1:29pm

but alas, no. They want to be babied, me to be a father figure, tell em what to do...I want a whole, real person.

One whole, real person way out here in AZ. Who very much does not want to be babied and does not want a father figure.

Never understood the whole dating-a-father-figure thing. Seems very, very creepy to me.

Permalink Reply by Jared Lardo on July 17, 2010 at 10:38pm

I was that once--the father figure thing, not a women who wants one.

Of course, I also seem to have then been a "Father" figure, as well, having virtually started my own cult of one follower. Details of my personal experience aside, I'd say it's a confidence thing. Confidence and force of will can turn a gray area into an area with a distinct gradient of black-gray-white. Combined with the rather or relatively prevalent "overwhelmed, ambivalent woman" model of femininity and people's tendency to conform to their perceptions of social norms, finding too goddamn many women who want a father figure seems to be just the result of the factors at hand. Damn.

Permalink Reply by Ken Westervelt on July 17, 2010 at 12:13pm

If you're going to atheist socials (especially ones starting from the Internet), they do tend to bring out more awkward people. I ain't gonna lie there. As long as you're out and about, building relationships within orgs you care about, eventually you'll meet someone who you won't be ashamed to call a boyfriend or husband.

Permalink Reply by Anna on July 17, 2010 at 12:32pm

haha true story Ken. However, it seems to me that since Atheists aren't exactly crawling from the wood work, maybe an online meet up thing would be good. Or at least just to come to when stressed out at religion. haha

Permalink Reply by Ken Westervelt on July 17, 2010 at 12:41pm

http://www.meetup.com/aofuslc/ might be a good place to start. Denver's major meetup has been good to me so far.

Permalink Reply by Robert M. Reed on July 17, 2010 at 12:15pm

I'm good looking(not vain, just observant) smart, well read, kind, honest, forthright and gentle... and I can't get a date to save my life.

Permalink Reply by Anna on July 17, 2010 at 12:33pm

Yeah, Robert. I hear ya. I sometimes find people who aren't "religious' but thats not enough because they just aren't religious cuz they don't care. THey don't care.... I need intelligence.. thought.. theory?? Haha, so yeah even those types bore the hell out of me. Anyway, I'm really looking for guys my age. So don't get your hopes up with me ;).

Permalink Reply by Robert M. Reed on July 17, 2010 at 12:46pm

Awww...:( yea, I here ya. I'm only getting older.... :)

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on July 17, 2010 at 1:31pm

@ Anna -

Age wise, Robert appears to be right in between the two of us. So if we can somehow split him like an atom...

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