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Long distance relationships - would you consider one?

After searching high and low, I am slowly coming to a realization that there are very few women, if any, that I seem to be even partially compatible with close to me. And by close I mean within 100 miles.

I am becoming more open to the idea of a long distance relationship. At least a temporary one.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on March 18, 2011 at 5:55pm

Or use your cell phone and talk after your nights and weekends kick in. Surely one person on either side of the relationship must have a cell phone.

I can see how video can be beneficial at times, though, yeah.

Permalink Reply by Laura McGuire on March 18, 2011 at 6:37pm

But at the end of the day, as lovely as conversation can be...

Nothing will ever top the close intimate connection you feel just sitting near the person you care for. Long-distance relationships are hard, not impossible... but hard. And I don't think they can last long-term, eventually it will either end, or one of the pair will move to be closer to maintain the connection.

Permalink Reply by Nick Blair on March 18, 2011 at 7:01pm

but, like you said, it is always possible to move closer once a good relationship has been established. That's part of why I am willing to have a long-distance relationship right now. I'm at a point where I will soon be able to move wherever I want, (wherever I can find a job anyway) so I know that if a relationship is going very well, I'll be able to move closer to be with the other person.

Permalink Reply by Jeremy on March 26, 2011 at 8:24pm

I would advise against it, unless you're a wealthy jet setter.

Permalink Reply by Will Faithless Sophia on March 28, 2011 at 8:14pm

In my experience trying to build a relationship without actually sharing experiences together is very difficult; one thing I've learned is that discussion alone doesn't cut it.

Permalink Reply by Kelly M on April 6, 2011 at 12:04pm

I know this scenario...I have also had to look well outside my local dating pool to find a contender. Here's where the hard part of this is. You don't really feel like you are in a relationship. You still go to bed alone, and if you do meet someone that rocks your world who lives far away, you spend a lot of time wishing you were with them. If you don't mind that kind of torture, or think you can handle it....great. I thought I could too. It's nice if you don't want to be bogged down, and if you intensely value your freedom, and feel cool with getting together with someone you care about from time to time for an adventure or even awesome sex....but if you wish for a deeper relationship than that, distance is a real buzz killer. I just hate going around wishing I could be closer to someone all of the time. Kinda doesn't bode well for happiness with where you are.

Permalink Reply by dr kellie on April 6, 2011 at 12:18pm

I love the somewhat long distance (as long as it is within a few hours by car) relationship, but that wasn't true when I was younger and still influenced by puritanical ideas of monogamy and finding "the one" and such. I like the freedom and, in my experience, the sex is way better when you aren't around someone all the time. My long distance relationships usually end when I meet someone closer. Nothing attracts potential mates like being in a long distance relationship. They come out of the woodwork.

Permalink Reply by Tonya Wynn on April 6, 2011 at 12:54pm

The best relationship I've had so far (I'm 40) was when I fell for a man from overseas when I was 18. We 'dated' for 2 1/2 years, mostly when he came to New York on business. It was hot! I eventually moved in with him overseas and then it quickly became a sick situation, though.

I think a long-distance relationship with someone who is a great fit for you is much better than settling for some clod who is local and convenient! I've done that, too. Talk about lowered expectations!

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on April 20, 2011 at 10:47am

Yeah, definitely not a real option, when you're a teenager. At best, you'll keep it going for a few months, in most cases. When you're a teenager, a year is a long damned time, and to go that long without even basic physical contact ...

The idea of keeping a relationship going until you're done with high school and can get together in person is ludicrous at best. Perhaps when you're most of the way done with your senior year, it will become a more viable possibility. You could aim for going to a university somewhere near the girl (assuming you're straight; I've never asked), or the two of you could pick the same university or two universities near each other.