Your searching through an on-line dating site. You find someone that seems smart, interesting, and even good looking and then you find a line like this in their profile;

" God is #1 in my life! Without him we are nothing! I am so blessed:D! If you can't handle that, you can't handle me! "

Such a buzzkill.. On the other hand though, it is kinda nice to have such an easy way of detecting this specific form of craziness. Wouldn't dating be easier if other such psychotic shortcomings were proudly portrayed on their profiles? (PPPP?)



"Oh and BTW! I Like to hit women! So if you can't accept that then YOU CAN"T ACCEPT ME!!"

OR

"FYI I get a little jealous, and if you ever do anything to make me imagine you might have cheated on me, in real life or in a dream, I will cut off your penis in your sleep!! If you've got a problem with that then DON'T BOTHER!"

OR

"I enjoy sex once maybe even TWICE!!! a month, so if you can't keep up , don't bother e-mailing me!!"

OR

"Me and my cats are VERY close, if you get between us and our peanut butter you WON'T LAST LONG WITH ME!"

OR

"I like to put holes in condoms, Deal With It!"

OR

"Me and my Brother are VERY close, If you CAN'T Handle That KEEP ON LOOKING"

OR

"Meth isn't so bad, If you don't agree then BUH-BYE"

OR

"I prefer a man who can hit me every now and then to keep me in line! If your not a misogynistic bastard, THEN DON'T WINK AT ME!"

OR

"I have no respect for the term monogamy, our bodies (and stds) are meant to be shared freely! If you DON"T LIKE IT, HIT THE X BUTTON IN THE TOP RIGHT CORNER!"

OR

"I still sleep in princess pajamas and have 739 stuffed unicorns in my bedroom! If you Have a Problem with that, GOODBYE!"



Really. Someone start a dating site that asks these questions. I think I could really be onto something here.

Feel free to add your own!


**** New additions

"My mother still controls every aspect of my life, so if you can't take orders from her SEE YA!"

or

"I like to get drunk and mistake the hall closet for the toilet. If cleaning up my urine isn't funny to you LOOK ELSEWHERE!!"

or

"Savings accounts are for pussies. If you expect me to live within my means GET REAL!"

... And those are all just my ex-husband...

Angie-


"I prefer the company of electronics over vagina. If you can't handle that - buy a vibrator."

"I have no desire to expand my horizons and expect to eat Velveeta shells and cheese every night of my life and nothing but. If you can't handle that - go out to dinner alone."

"My job comes number #1 over everything else, despite the fact it's an unimportant job that doesn't make a difference in the world, is a poor excuse of a career, and has little room for advancement which offers little finacial benefits anyway even if you do advance. If you can't handle this - it's not my problem. Get a hobby"

"I'm really not that well endowed. If you can't handle that, grow your hymen back."

LittlePants-

Views: 313

Replies to This Discussion

"My mother still controls every aspect of my life, so if you can't take orders from her SEE YA!"

or

"I like to get drunk and mistake the hall closet for the toilet. If cleaning up my urine isn't funny to you LOOK ELSEWHERE!!"

or

"Savings accounts are for pussies. If you expect me to live within my means GET REAL!"

... And those are all just my ex-husband...

Plentyoffish.com at least has a religion statement and you can search to exclude everyone except "non-religious". I personally love how many guys message me who claim to be Christian but have a photo of them doing a keg stand for their profile pic.
The bar is set extremely low to call yourself a xian in this country. It's good for memberships and offering plates though. As long as the preachers pockets are full, then who cares? god?? AHHAHAHAHHAH
hahaha
Yep, I know all about finding the perfect person, except really that one little thing, that really isn't so little. I'm friends with a guy that meets 90 % of the things I want in a guy, and I could live with everything else except that fact that he is catholic.

The warning label that should have come on the last guy I dated would have said, "My job and my geek friends are my top priorities, if you can't handle coming in 3rd behind them, then you can't deal with me."
I think I've met all of these people! Okcupid.com is a really cool site that actually does ask a lot of similar questions. It throws out all kinds of scenarios and asks for your answer and your ideal mate's answer, then how important the answer is to you. I've had fun with it and met a lot of atheists. Still single, though. :)
Same story here.

So, at the risk of sounding like I do on Fark.com, "How you doin'?"
I torture small kittens in complete darkness! Grow up! Deal with it! Or... move on!
I was playing along... (this is satire) Just thought I'd leave a disclaimer... LOL!
Whatever dude. Gov't has logged you. Better watch your ass.
Am I sick person that I lol'd that?
That's funny- I've had guys apologize to me --right before sex --about their penis size. . . FYI Guys ---------NEVER do that!I it will only make us focus on it more.

And seriously- I don't care why you are living with your mom still. Move Out!
So by your logic, I guess I SHOULDN'T point out my third nipple before having sex for the first time with a lady? I just don't want to scare her... But I don;t want to draw attention either...

HMMMMmmmm.

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