Does atheism reduce your online dating chances?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by J.P.M. on March 4, 2010 at 3:20pm

If only that were true out here in the 'heartland' of America. Here, they look at you as if there is something wrong with you if you don't have a church you attend regularly. So I tell them that A/N is my 'church group' to watch the confusion develop in their face as I explain it. It's so twisted. Even the most narrow-minded conservatives seem far more respectful of people in other religions - even those diametrically opposed to theirs that they recognize as 'enemies' (e.g muslims), than they are of non-theists. I guess a religion at theological war with yours is still better than no religion at all. Sheeeshh.

Permalink Reply by Trance Gemini on March 4, 2010 at 7:12pm

I've heard a lot of horror stories about the Bible Belt and the Heartland. I can't imagine what that would be like.

The worst fundy I can think of here in Canada is Stockwell Day and he's pretty tame (and tolerable) compared to the one's I hear about down South. Lol.

The worst thing I recall him saying was that he wouldn't work on Sundays. That statement contributed to the loss of the election for the Conservatives and he lost his leadership position.

Permalink Reply by Michael Pianko on March 19, 2010 at 10:34pm

I am from a Jewish family, and I know that a certain percent of people who identify as Jewish never or almost never go to synagogues or do any of the rituals. But even among non-observant Jews, very few are willing to admit to non-belief in god/religion, although there are the so called "humanistic Jews"; they have a website and a few organized groups. And it took some arguing to convince my mother that my lack of Jewish beliefs and non-observance does not entail that I adopt the christian practices that it seems most of our fellow Americans observe. You are right, some people have difficulty accepting the concept of a total lack of belief and rituals.

Permalink Reply by Michael on October 14, 2010 at 3:51am

Please don't confuse "conservative" with "religious". I know a lot of non-religious conservatives. And a lot of very religious liberals. The two things are independent of each other, common misconceptions notwithstanding.

Permalink Reply by David Potter on March 4, 2010 at 6:04pm

Here in the heart of the Bible Belt, I don't think that it has helped my chances any. But I'm at the point where I am not really trying that hard anymore, anyway. If something does come along - fine. If not - fine. The way I look at it, while Christian girls might be good for a one night stand, I really don't want long term involvement with one of them. People who believe in a Sky Daddy, and who think fairy tales are real - are not what I would want for a mate anyway.

Maybe I would try it for a little while, if the sex was good.

But that's about the extent of it.

On another note . . .

I still haven't given up on third world countries yet. :)

Permalink Reply by Eric Harris on March 4, 2010 at 7:34pm

I am originally from the mid-west. Nebraska in perticular. Now living in Texas. Now on ALL my dating/social sites I am marked off as an atheist. On the social sites I get a lot of hits but on the dating sites I rarely get action except for women outside the US. I believe the reason that a lot of christians contact atheist is because they don't READ the profiles. They go by photo only. Thats why when you finnally do converse with them they're surprised when the subject comes up. Christian men care less if you are a one of them because theyre looking for the woman not the god. Though with women it's different. They want a personality they assume comes along with being christian.

Permalink Reply by J.P.M. on March 11, 2010 at 7:02pm

I think there is a lot of truth to that. It isn't hard to filter out the women with 'Christian expectations' on OKcupid. They are very up front about wanting a man who keeps a place for 'god' in his life. And it sure ain't yours truly...

Permalink Reply by coyote on March 5, 2010 at 4:27pm

probably less luck online than in person. in person you can at least try and get someone interested in your personality before they realize you're an atheist.

Permalink Reply by Mrina on March 11, 2010 at 7:55am

Actually, from personal experience, because I am somewhat shy in real and end up coming off as "aloof" because I keep to myself, historically I have only ever found dates online. It seems to me easier to find people online with whom I have things in common. At my school, lots of scientists believe in god (they observe Lent and attend churches), which is awkward... Agree with Sonny, theism is def a deal breaker. So I don't think it has reduced my online dating chances. However, as someone cleverly pointed out, I am female and thus the statistics are in my favor.

Permalink Reply by Regina M on March 14, 2010 at 3:14pm

From what I understood in the blog post, it didn't necessarily divide the responses you get into positive (thanks-let's meet) or negative (ew-you're gross) responses. Could the data be skewed a bit? I'm just wondering if those who mention atheism in their first email might get something more along the line of a negative "thanks but no thanks, you don't believe in my god" response, which obviously leads nowhere.

On the other hand, I wonder if those of us who are atheists actually read through people's profiles in the first place (before sending an email) to check if we're more likely to _get a response back_ by finding those other atheists out there. So in other words, we're searching for that which in the majority of society would otherwise be taken for granted (religious belief). Does that make any sense?

Permalink Reply by J.P.M. on March 15, 2010 at 4:20am

I am new to this, but obviously there are for more theists out there than non theists. I am very selective whom I contact, and any mention of a 'relationship with god' in a profile will get it 'nexted'. That, or answering 'teach both sides' to the question on creationism. However, I also think there are a lot of rather loose theists (ideologically) who would be open to dating an atheist.

Now, all that said, I have actually found a very interesting woman on OK cupid. She listed her religion as 'other', and she would probably describe herself as spiritual, but I would classify her as agnostic. We'll have to see how it plays out, so don't kick me off the single's site yet! But I will actually have this site to thank because I heard about OK cupid here first.

Permalink Reply by Regina M on March 19, 2010 at 12:28pm

What is it about OKcupid? I just started on there recently (also because several people here recommended it) and have found more interesting men there than on plentyoffish and match combined. And they know and use punctuation and proper spelling-it's a bit of a shock, really.

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