I am already struggling trying to put myself back out there, and now that I am in my 30's and am trying to date in that age range- I find that everyone is ready to have babies. I don't want to bear children. In the area I live in it is hard enough to find someone who will accept my atheism (and rare to find a fellow non-theist) and when I throw in the "maybe I would like to adopt older children some day- I don't want to bear my own"... I may have as well announced that I have a highly contagious communicable disease. Am I being unrealistic? Do I need to just give in and date men with children? Why does this all suck so bad?

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Replies to This Discussion

Christ.
Yet another guy that does not want to have children, but would take care of them I ever had a hand in making one. =)
I'm also on my own mission to find my childfree man. It's annoying running into those who act like you're a freak for not wanting kids (which seem to be a majority of men), and they try (pitifully) to convince you of the good things that come with having (especially birthing) a child.
I know! I'm 28 and I still don't want kids (dr.s will refuse to "fix" me claiming that when I'm 40 I'll suddenly want kids. No thank you I don't need to overpopulate the world more..) and it seems like most men want to pass on their stupid genes.
Ugh! I don't get that! As though your genes are so effing great!
I would rather adopt too, but I want to adopt a baby, not an older child, so I can help through the formative years and teach critical thinking, etc.

Our population is growing like crazy, we don't need more people, and there are plenty of children already alive who need a home =P
see we need all kinds... I can't stand babies!

I'd take in teenagers in their last two years of the fostering system, give them one last chance at decent home and stability and understanding. :)
Personally, I do not have a child of my own but I do have a Stepdaughter from a marriage that is currently in the process of ending. I love her as if she is my own and will continue to be a part of her life.

Now that I will be dating again I understand where you are at. I don't want a child of my own and I would prefer not date another woman that already has one. Attachments to children are hard to dismiss. It is not their fault if the adults don't want to be together anymore.
I don't want to have kids. I don't think you're reaching for the moon here.
I'll be turning 50 next Saturday, never married, no kids. I've had the desire to want children, but I was talking to my mom yesterday and she said something to the effect that at my age, the odds of me having kids of my own at my age are pretty slim. I thought about it and it upset me a bit, but I realized she was right. "Some things aren't meant to be," she said to me. Kinda trite, but true in this particular case.

Now, would I date someone with children? Certainly - I wouldn't DQ anyone with kids. And if something happened and I would up having any, yes, I'd step to the plate and take care of them. That's the right thing to do. Too many guys, sadly, don't seem to want to do that anymore. If taking responsibility and helping your kids to the best of your ability makes me an outcast among some men, so be it. At least I'm going to do what's right.
Thanks, congrats to you too! I guess my folks did have some sort of good time that night! *LOL*

I've had some friends of mine on Facebook tell me the same thing. It still bothers me from time to time (not being married and not having kids), maybe because of the hopes and dreams I had for myself. Other times I'm glad not to have kids. Guess it depends on how I'm feeling at the time.

As far as staying younger...well, I have been told be ladies that I don't look 50!! *ROFL*
Yes,we exist.But, most of the ones I know besides myself are religious -or at least believe in some type of 'higher power' or god(s).The only other non-theist I know who never settled down to do the "wife and kids" thing is a life-long womanizer & party animal with a severe drinking and gambling problem.So.....we won't go there -he's probably not the best example in the world as to why! For me it's been a simple matter of pursuing my hobbies and artistic/musical endeavors instead.I just never really got around to it & didn't want to.I do have a hard time dating and even trying to get to know someone enough to decide to date them as a result.If the women I meet don't already have kids (sometimes two or three -usually by different fathers) and are looking for surrogate "baby daddy" material : some to help raise their children,then they're looking for "husband material" ,someone to marry and start a family with. Most of the latter are in their mid to late 30's (but sometimes late 20's) and think the clock is ticking. I don't dislike children,but it's just not for me.I like my peace and quiet and my freedom to do what I please and go wherever I want whenever I want without being tied down more.

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