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Do men exist that do not want and do not have children?

I am already struggling trying to put myself back out there, and now that I am in my 30's and am trying to date in that age range- I find that everyone is ready to have babies. I don't want to bear children. In the area I live in it is hard enough to find someone who will accept my atheism (and rare to find a fellow non-theist) and when I throw in the "maybe I would like to adopt older children some day- I don't want to bear my own"... I may have as well announced that I have a highly contagious communicable disease. Am I being unrealistic? Do I need to just give in and date men with children? Why does this all suck so bad?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Anna on August 3, 2010 at 11:13pm

Its extremely difficult!! I tell guys two things on the first date to avoid leading them on or deal breakers.. 1. I'm an atheist 2. I do not want to bear children. The last guy I dated was supposedly okay with this- then on the 4th date he got drunk and demanded that I have his children!!! Well that didn't last lol

Permalink Reply by Anna on August 3, 2010 at 11:52pm

Seriously.. He said some crap like "before I met you I never wanted children.. but now that I know you.. how can we not have children together?" Then he got mad when I reminded him that I do not want children with ANYONE. I should have known better than to try to date a Catholic Lawyer.. lol

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on August 4, 2010 at 1:53am

Christ.

Permalink Reply by Wes Bonez on August 2, 2010 at 3:02am

Yet another guy that does not want to have children, but would take care of them I ever had a hand in making one. =)

Permalink Reply by Black Magick Woman on August 2, 2010 at 4:48am

I'm also on my own mission to find my childfree man. It's annoying running into those who act like you're a freak for not wanting kids (which seem to be a majority of men), and they try (pitifully) to convince you of the good things that come with having (especially birthing) a child.

Permalink Reply by Cobbie Tigerpaw on August 4, 2010 at 10:27am

I know! I'm 28 and I still don't want kids (dr.s will refuse to "fix" me claiming that when I'm 40 I'll suddenly want kids. No thank you I don't need to overpopulate the world more..) and it seems like most men want to pass on their stupid genes.

Permalink Reply by Black Magick Woman on August 4, 2010 at 3:35pm

Ugh! I don't get that! As though your genes are so effing great!

Permalink Reply by Matt on August 8, 2010 at 8:47am

I would rather adopt too, but I want to adopt a baby, not an older child, so I can help through the formative years and teach critical thinking, etc.

Our population is growing like crazy, we don't need more people, and there are plenty of children already alive who need a home =P

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on September 13, 2010 at 9:37pm

see we need all kinds... I can't stand babies!

I'd take in teenagers in their last two years of the fostering system, give them one last chance at decent home and stability and understanding. :)

Permalink Reply by Josh Grubb on August 17, 2010 at 9:01pm

Personally, I do not have a child of my own but I do have a Stepdaughter from a marriage that is currently in the process of ending. I love her as if she is my own and will continue to be a part of her life.

Now that I will be dating again I understand where you are at. I don't want a child of my own and I would prefer not date another woman that already has one. Attachments to children are hard to dismiss. It is not their fault if the adults don't want to be together anymore.

Permalink Reply by Louis on August 17, 2010 at 9:21pm

I don't want to have kids. I don't think you're reaching for the moon here.

Permalink Reply by Brent Feeney on September 3, 2010 at 10:58am

I'll be turning 50 next Saturday, never married, no kids. I've had the desire to want children, but I was talking to my mom yesterday and she said something to the effect that at my age, the odds of me having kids of my own at my age are pretty slim. I thought about it and it upset me a bit, but I realized she was right. "Some things aren't meant to be," she said to me. Kinda trite, but true in this particular case.

Now, would I date someone with children? Certainly - I wouldn't DQ anyone with kids. And if something happened and I would up having any, yes, I'd step to the plate and take care of them. That's the right thing to do. Too many guys, sadly, don't seem to want to do that anymore. If taking responsibility and helping your kids to the best of your ability makes me an outcast among some men, so be it. At least I'm going to do what's right.