I am already struggling trying to put myself back out there, and now that I am in my 30's and am trying to date in that age range- I find that everyone is ready to have babies. I don't want to bear children. In the area I live in it is hard enough to find someone who will accept my atheism (and rare to find a fellow non-theist) and when I throw in the "maybe I would like to adopt older children some day- I don't want to bear my own"... I may have as well announced that I have a highly contagious communicable disease. Am I being unrealistic? Do I need to just give in and date men with children? Why does this all suck so bad?

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Replies to This Discussion

Brian,

With all due respect, here's a thought: Why don't you create your own blog instead? IMHO, you don't seem to be very receptive to other posters' ideas and enjoy enlightening us all with your extensive reading and name-dropping abilities.

I think Anna hinted at putting an end to this discussion on a friendly note a couple of postings ago, but you just keep going on an on about how we are all wrong to think the way we do and so on.

Plus, this thread went off on a tangent a looong time ago...
I am that man...
Late reply, but:
I do not have children out of choice. I do not want to father children either. I did have an ex off and on these 14 years who had children - not in her custody full time due to mental and substance abuse issues; when they were around I was as cool and nurturing as any average father.

But not my preference.
Yeah, his name is Dave, he lives in Sydney. He picked his current girlfriend from an online dating agency almost purely based on her desire to not have any children. I can't see anything else they have in common. :-)

He is 39.

So yep they exist.
Until 25 or so, I used to think in terms of "When I will have kids, [...]".

At 28, I realized that having children is not an automatic choice. I just hadn't thought about it before.

But have a trans-oceanic plane trip with your date and point out the screeching children that are guaranteed to decorate your auditory background...
@TNT666: Freakonomics makes a compelling case that legalizing abortion in the US has decreased the crime rate significantly.
Yep, that was a very interesting read!
I've never wanted to have children. (I love kids; I love my nephews, and they love me; but I don't want to have any of my own.) That, along with not believing in God (although I do like Mr. Deity ), makes it somewhat hard to find anyone appropriate; and since I neither attend church nor attend bars or clubs (except chess club, which is hardly a haven for eligible women), I end up not meeting anyone. What we need is a way of connecting with each other...like this group.

The mandatory wearing of T-shirts displaying marital status and, for singles, various important information (smoke or not? want kids or not? have kids or not? very sexual or not? religious or not? easygoing or not?) would go a long way toward helping people meet!
Yes, there are some mens who do not have children and few mens who dont want to have children.Iam one of them.I dont want to have children.
Yes. there are men that don't want kids! I know! I'm one of them! I never have. I like my life the way it is without them, If for no other reason than the finacial obligation to them. There are more reasons, of course, but they are less tangible. I have a greeeeeaaaat deal of trouble finding women that are not completely repulsed by this idea. Then I mention the atheism thing and they run as fast as they can cause, you know, I'm the devil and all....;)
Good to know!

If ever your truck-driving swings you out Arizona way, or if my next Park Service gig finds me in your neck of the woods...
Don't give in we are out there! Kids suck, not all kids, just most of them LOL. I myself don't have any and refuse to have any. My dad was asking me when will he have another grandson or daughter and I'll just say "I don't think I want kids" and he said "well I didn't at first but I'm glad that I had you and your brother" and I was like "That's because I'm paying for breakfast right now" LOL

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