Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jason Edwin DeLeo on October 3, 2011 at 8:29pm

I like kids just fine but have enough fun playing with relatives children . I don't think it's unrealistic as long as you are up front about your expectations going into the relationship.

Permalink Reply by Jonel Burge on October 6, 2011 at 9:56pm

They exist, they're just tough to find, as well as many guys don't take the question seriously. Honestly I can't wait to get my tubes tied so I can put that upfront--not having kids, ever. Not possible for me to have kids, ever. That way the whole "oooh you might change your mind." thing will go the hell away.

Permalink Reply by Heather McIntosh on October 7, 2011 at 6:52pm

I am totally with you there! If only it didn't necessitate surgery, I would've gotten my tubes tied already.

Permalink Reply by Jonel Burge on October 7, 2011 at 11:34pm

There was one thing they were testing that would be an outpatient procedure! When I first heard of it I was so excited--it was basically two coils that you put into the fallopian tubes, and it causes them to become blocked off after a month or so--you'll have to use BC until then, but it would have been an easier way--that didn't involve inpatient surgery, to get my tubes tied.

On top of this I will probably have to search and search for a doctor who will actually do it--one woman had to get WRITTEN PERMISSION from her husband saying she could get her tubes tied--and this was the one doctor who agreed to it, all the others refused to. Look, I can see you don't want to do surgery on someone who will later regret it, but there are tons of people who, like me, just aren't cut out to have kids--c-sections are often the only way women in my family have children, My mother had serious complications with both me and my sister--and I'll likely have the exact same complications should I try, on top of me just...not being interested in kids. A friend earlier today said a gem that I will quote now:

Personally, children scare me. They’re like little tiny underdeveloped people, and I don’t care for ‘em. Too unpredictable. And they’re usually covered with something sticky. I hate sticky.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on October 8, 2011 at 12:27am

My tubal ligation by laparoscopy was an outpatient procedure. I was at the hospital for 2-3 hours. No notable scars, 3-5 days rest. Good as new :)

Permalink Reply by Jonel Burge on October 8, 2011 at 12:46am

Good to know. Was it tough to get a doctor who would do it for you? Do you already have kids, or do you not have kids? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I'm curious as to how hard it was to get done. I'm 22 and I've never wanted to have kids, I'd really like to get it as soon as I can so I can stop being concerned with birth control and guys who are intent on turning me into a breeder.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on October 8, 2011 at 12:52am

All  Many answers to be found in this discussion in A|N : My Elective Tubal Ligation.

It takes a tremendous effort and some plain ole bitchiness to win this one :)

Permalink Reply by Jonel Burge on October 8, 2011 at 2:55am

Awesome. Thanks for the information.

Permalink Reply by Aviance on October 9, 2011 at 11:39am

I wanted kids in the past, but as I got older and became a bit wiser, I realized that even though I love kids, they aren't for me. I wanted to raise one at one point when I was younger, but then I realized that my freedom would pretty much disappear, and I would have to take care of someone other than myself. Being 30, and with the way the economy is in shambles, pending wars/class wars, healthcare costs, who would want to bring a child into this twisted world? Good thing I wised up before I went down that path.

Permalink Reply by Greg D on October 25, 2011 at 1:13am

Oddly enough, I am sterile due to no choice of my own.

 

Not that it mattered much as I was only interested in children if it was one of my partners life goals.

 

I had two LTR's blow up in my 20's because their "clock started ticking" after about year four and although I was open to adoption as a solution but they both found that unacceptable.

 

But yes, atheist + sterile and/or childfree means you just have to deal with more dead ended dates.

Permalink Reply by James on October 26, 2011 at 12:57am

I might be a little out of your age range but I totally agree that it's hard, which gets annoying very quickly, to find an atheist who doesn't want to have kids. Not that there aren't plenty of atheists who don't want to have kids but that both traits are so rare; finding both in the same person is extremely unlikely - especially when you include all of your other factors in finding a mate (to perhaps use the phrase a little loosely).

Permalink Reply by Dorian Staten on November 16, 2011 at 7:44pm

I have one daughter, but she's 18 and just moved out.  No more kids for me.

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