Since I came out as an atheist, I have actually gotten a few girls to agree to meet in person, but none arrived on time, at the time we agreed on. One girl agreed to meet at the art museum in our town (Columbus, Ohio), but she didn't show up at the time we planned and I was thinking of leaving but I got her on the phone and convinced her to come, she came 45 minutes later and said she "forgot" about our plans. Later, after talking to her on the phone I realized she is scatterbrained and is not able to agree on a time to meet and to be ready at that time. 

With another girl, we were having a great conversation about calendar reform, until I became afraid I was talking too much about the same topic even though she was clearly interested, and then I got her to agree to meet at the Columbus Museum of Art but she never showed up but sent me a series of text messages on my cell phone even though I don't pay for texting and I would rather just talk into the phone or even better stick with talking in person and my apartment wall phone. 

Two other girls I met in person did show up on time, but barely, and I didn't think they were going to arrive at all and we quit talking rather because I asked too many questions and and gave too much information and they wouldn't talk enough, and this is considering that I used to be afraid to talk in public and I still find it hard to talk in groups or crowded places...

So, when me and a girl agree to meet, I would like her to arrive at least a few minutes before the time we agree on, or even better, a comfortable 5-10 minutes early, so I won't have to wonder whether I should just leave... am I the only person who still arrives on time and wishes other people would also? Am I doing anything else wrong or expecting too much, and how am I supposed to get women to arrive on time and be more serious and keep our plans???

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I am always on time (unless something drastic occurs), and I appreciate when others are on time.  I have had experiences with women who are always late.  By the time I impress upon them how much I value punctuality, they usually improve because they want to please me.  But it takes time.

 

In my opinion, being late is rude.

Yeah, there's a possibility of helping someone improve.  I wonder about the girl he mentioned in the first paragraph.  By completely flaking out on him, I'd say she's probably not really interested.  I dunno, maybe some people really are just that flaky.  I wonder how someone can get to adulthood with that kind of behavior, though.

What you mentioned in the third paragraph is going to be more of a problem for you, I think, Michael.  Women are generally more vulnerable to social abuse.  Your extreme Libertarian position would leave women subject to employers who want to deny them access to birth control and other abuse of their rights.  There's a reason why almost all Libertarians are white men.  If you get a girl who is at all into politics, you're probably going to have problems.

Do you have any idea specifically what chased them off?

The last girl I talked to looked terrible, but at least she was willing to talk to me. We talked on the phone at least twice but never saw each other in person. I stopped liking her when I realized that she likes to talk on the phone while driving; she said so and was talking to me with all kinds of noises and distractions in the background as she parked her car and got out...

As for the girl before her, we met to play chess twice. I had got her phone number from her and called the number three times and she said she got my messages, in e-mail, but she never called, and in person when I tried to find out where she works or what she does but I gave it up because I got the impression I was doing something wrong, and i still don't know her last name or what kind of call center she works in. In her profile on Okcupid she said she was not looking for anything serious, and I told her how prudish she is and other bad things, after she went three weeks without being available to see me...

With the girl before, I gave a short, non-answer to one of her questions, in a conversation about calendar reform, which started after SHE asked me about it, after seeing "calendar reform" listed as something I am interested in, in my okcupid profile; I believe I couldn't believe someone could really want to talk much to me and I always expect that women think something is wrong with me before we even begin to talk... this was the last girl who agreed to meet at the Columbus Museum of Art and and didn't show up and she never said why...

The last girl I talked to looked terrible, but at least she was willing to talk to me. We talked on the phone at least twice but never saw each other in person. I stopped liking her when I realized that she likes to talk on the phone while driving; she said so and was talking to me with all kinds of noises and distractions in the background as she parked her car and got out...

Ummmm, you're disqualifying girls because of their phone habits?  This is greatly at odds with your complaints about girls being too picky about your quirks.

As for the girl before her, we met to play chess twice. I had got her phone number from her and called the number three times and she said she got my messages, in e-mail, but she never called, and in person when I tried to find out where she works or what she does but I gave it up because I got the impression I was doing something wrong, and i still don't know her last name or what kind of call center she works in. In her profile on Okcupid she said she was not looking for anything serious, and I told her how prudish she is and other bad things, after she went three weeks without being available to see me...

Yeah, something you said or did probably creeped her out, or something, and she isn't interested anymore.  I can't really tell you what it is, since I wasn't there and didn't hear the conversation.

And no, you shouldn't record future conversations for others to dissect.  That would be creepy.  ^.^

Your comment about trying to find out where she works sets off alarm bells, for me.  Lots of women are cautious about letting guys get too close too quickly.  They're generally the vulnerable ones, from the perspective of stalkers and rape.  You might have scared her off by doing this.

With the girl before, I gave a short, non-answer to one of her questions, in a conversation about calendar reform, which started after SHE asked me about it, after seeing "calendar reform" listed as something I am interested in, in my okcupid profile; I believe I couldn't believe someone could really want to talk much to me and I always expect that women think something is wrong with me before we even begin to talk... this was the last girl who agreed to meet at the Columbus Museum of Art and and didn't show up and she never said why...

Hmmmmmmmmm.  It's possible that she was asking about calendar reform because it was such a bizarre topic.  I'm familiar with the idea, but I think most of the population has no idea that anyone wants to clean up the mess that we have.

She might not have been particularly interested in you, but she wanted to ask about that.  Then, once she's made contact, "Eh, why not at least meet the guy once and see what he's like?"

I'm hypothesizing wildly here, mind you.

I don't remember what I might have said about being libertarian or denying women access to birth control. I was in grad school. I haven't been here for awhile. In theory I'm not against birth control as long as it is provided so that tax payers don't have to pay for it; it is unethical for the government to provide free health care and health services because in order to provide these things, the government will steal from people in the next higher income brackets in the form of taxes. I'm not sure what rights I said I was against. What did I say??

You didn't say anything specifically about Libertarianism, in this discussion thread.  I was just trying to think of things you could bring up which would turn girls off.

The problem is that the political stances you take will result in the abuses I described.  I know you don't see it.  Anarcho-Capitalists generally suck at walking through the policies they're proposing and deducing what the end result of their ideology will be.  One of those results is completely fucking over women ... or more specifically, removing the regulations which prevent the misogynistic assholes in power, in this country and many others, from fucking over women.

I don't think I said anything that terrible. I'm fine with a woman having an abortion -especially if I don't know her - as long as I don't have to pay for it. Its not specifically this it is that I don't like taxes and I don't like the lies employers tell about how they are going to pay you so much money but then you actually get that minus whatever the government steals from you and/or the employer, to provide stuff that could be provided by private organizations. If my friends need something, I guess they could ask me for it and if I really feel like giving them what they want, I could, but they can't just steal from me. The government is screwing men over also, by not making circumcision illegal, and all the reasons in favor of circumcision are just as bogus as the reasons in favor of religion, and it is not the case that female human beings are born perfect while male human beings are born defective, needing an operation on our sex organs; or it is not the case that women inherently have special health needs while men have no health needs; men get prostate and testicular cancer and sexual dysfunction and so on, and I'm sure the last thing me and a girl will discuss is politics, especially when we first meet, and in the unlikely event we do and she doesn't like me because I have the "wrong" view about something, then I probably should acquiesce to the fact that she just is not compatible with me.

Really, really bad first impression not to arrive on time on the first date. I had tickets to a Queer Queens of Qomedy show the other night, and invited this chic to it more than a month ago. She arrived late, BROUGHT HER MOTHER AS THE CHAUFFEUR, and then proceeded to make me pay the bill at the diner we hung at instead. No thanks. Just a lot of bullshit that screams, NO! Starting with how inconsiderate it is to show up to a date late.

You are not the only one who arrives on time and wishes others would as well. Punctuality is a GOOD THING.

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