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Could you date a highly religious person?

I couldn't. I've never had a relationship with a woman who was very religious. I think it would be a constant source of disagreement. OTOH, Darwin was married to a religious woman for most of his life, so it does happen. What has been your experience?

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Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on August 5, 2009 at 7:06am

"It is hard to find atheists, never mind, your atheist soul mate, but there aint nothing wrong with solitude."

{Vigorous applause}

While I don't lack for sex drive and would really love a soulmate to share that awesome mountain view with, I'd still rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones.

I've met people (mostly women) who will compromise their religion (or lack thereof), morals, political beliefs, what have you just for the sake of having that sex partner.

Permalink Reply by Aly R Aly on August 5, 2009 at 11:09pm

"I'd still rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones."

You are doing the right thing, and I know exactly what you mean by "I've met people (mostly women) who will compromise their religion (or lack thereof), morals, political beliefs, what have you just for the sake of having that sex partner." that never never works.

Permalink Reply by Aly R Aly on August 8, 2009 at 12:08am

agreed

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on August 7, 2009 at 6:24pm

I imagine that's how many abusive relationships start out. The self-victimization it takes for one (usually the woman) to compromise her core values to enter the relationship, then the loss of self-esteem to struggle to stay in it.

Celibacy sucks, but some things definitely suck far worse.

Permalink Reply by Jason Spicer on August 7, 2009 at 6:51pm

At first blush, the obvious answer to this would seem to be no, I could not date a highly religious person. It would be hard to have sufficient respect for a life partner with such a divergent, flawed philosophy. But upon further review, and considering the fact that "highly religious" is highly ambiguous, I can envision scenarios in which I might be tempted.

Unlikely scenario: Dating a high priestess of the Church of Nymphomania. I could not, in good conscience, summarily rule this out. On the other hand, I would probably die of a heart attack before long. But if quality of life = fun x time, it could be worth it.

More likely scenario: Dating an educated, nonevangelical, nonjudgmental, funloving, live-and-let-live deist/spiritual/cultural Christian/Jew/Muslim/Buddhist/Etc, who actually lived up to the Golden Rule. I think this might work. I've seen couples who manage to bridge this philosophical divide. I'm not totally sure I could do it, but as long as she wasn't constantly trying to convert me, or being otherwise overt about it, or raising objections to my condemnations of religiously-inspired injustice and illogic, it would have potential.

Permalink Reply by Lauren Saville on August 31, 2009 at 11:12pm

"Church of Nymphomania" lol.....now that would be a church I would join haha

Permalink Reply by Hendrix1977 on September 3, 2009 at 12:07am

yeah... i'd definately put a dollar in that plate. ummm... so to speak.

Permalink Reply by Hendrix1977 on September 3, 2009 at 12:06am

that's a good point. i think it has more to do with monotheistic religions and they're need to convert and belief in "chosen people" and that their fairy tale beats everyone else's fairy tale. good point.

Permalink Reply by OutlawGirl on August 24, 2009 at 2:47am

I could probably date a moderate. My mother is moderate and we've always gotten along great.

I could never date anyone who was "very religious," though. Maybe it depends on what you mean but that but I don't think it could happen.

Permalink Reply by Lauren Saville on August 31, 2009 at 11:09pm

No, I have too many strong opinions on the matter and it would just cause arguments. Plus I would probably mock them....and they probably wouldnt like that.

Permalink Reply by Mel Futrell on September 16, 2009 at 6:19am

Well, the problem is never really whether *I* would date a highly religious person, but more that highly religious people generally have a problem dating "Oh, [we] of little [i.e. no] faith", if they TRULY believe in their convictions. I'm pretty equal-opportunity, myself.

I dated a Muslim man, for a very short period of time. The disconnect came less from any religious beliefs, on his part, and more from his cultural mandates about the "roles" of men and women in the world and in a relationship. Three years down the road, though, we are still friends -- albeit distant. I've also dated a Zoroastrian, an Armenian man of high Christian values, a practicing Jew, and a bevvy of samples from the traditional Christian spectrum (including once-upon-a-teenage-time, a Mormon!). I have incredible interest in cultural diversity, so I've always been openly interested in personal traditions and customs (from an anthropological perspective) - especially those that differ from my own experience. Most of my dates, however, have either been non-theists or non-practicing, even if believing; or it hasn't gone "far" enough for the topic to come up.

For me, there is quite a difference between "dating" someone (read: fun times, casual, not really focused on long-term potential) and forming a serious relationship with someone. I can definitely "date" without getting too deep into personal philosophies and worldviews, or at least tolerate vast differences therein. Again, the problem is typically the other person being intolerant of my views. That said, religion or otherwise, anyone that is going to stand, let alone enjoy, spending any significant time with me is likely to be a very critical thinker all the way around. If not, I'll wear them into the ground -- quickly. In that respect, I welcome divergent opinion, as long as its deliberative and not combative. It only serves to strengthen my own convictions, if I don't adjust to a fantastic and irrefutable counter-argument presented in defense of an alternate perspective.

Permalink Reply by Joe Dixon on September 20, 2009 at 8:41pm

If you both match that much she's probably not that Catholic. A lot of people call themselves a part of a faith simply because that's the one they were raised in. If she's like most (American) Catholics she doesn't attend Mass very often and likely (as this is true of nearly all religious people) has no idea what her religion says about much of anything beyond the hot button social issues.