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Atheists, Addictions, 12 Step Recovery, and Alternatives

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Trouble with drugs (including alcohol) or other potential addictions? Tried 12 step recovery and found it wanting? You're welcome here.

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Desiderata (Revised)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with it, whatever you conceive it to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Discussion Forum

Intergroup Intelligentsia - The Thought Police

Started by Joe S.. Last reply by Lillie 3 hours ago. 9 Replies 0 Likes

Confronting the Fellowship of NA.

Started by William Brown. Last reply by Chris Haughey on Wednesday. 19 Replies 3 Likes

Back in "Sober Living facility" and getting beat over the head w/the "Bill's Big Book" need suggestions!

Started by Chris Haughey on Wednesday. 0 Replies 0 Likes

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Back in "Sober Living facility" and getting beat over the head w/the "Bill's Big Book" need suggestions!

Hi, I just got out of detox (from Methadone/Buprenorphine) and have managed to land myself in a 3/4 house. I haven't had time to read all the posts here yet but just wanted to re-introduce myself. I've been a member of Atheist Nexus for a while now but I don't remember finding this particular group. But there's a lot I may not remember lol. Anyway all atheist help will be appreciated!

New in recovery

I have one week of sobriety. I am glad that I found this group. I went to an AA meeting and hated it because of the talk of a higher power. Being brand new at sobriety I could use any support and friendship that I can find.

Looking for something better than Alanon

Hi Folks! I've been part of Atheist Nexus for years, but haven't been all that active recently. My husband (a superstitious, anti-organized-religion, theist) started attending AA meetings last year, and suggested I start attending Alanon. I can't stand the opening/closing prayers, the reading to the 12 steps, most of which makes reference to god/higher power. I feel like everyone at these meetings drank the coolaid, and I wonder what brainwashing is going on in the AA meetings my husband is…

Confronting the Fellowship of NA.

Greetings All,

My name is Bill, and I am currently involved with the NA program. Im not a cookie-cutter member of the fellowship, as it were. My program does not involve the use of a god, and I feel my recovery is solid, as I have mulitiple years clean. My current journey brings me to the position of confronting the fellowship as a whole, about the inherent bias that runs through the literature/mtgs. They (NA, and the ppl involved) say that it is up to the…

New to group

Hi everyone,

I've been an Atheist Nexus member for awhile, but I've never posted anything before. I'm an all-around addict... alcohol, pot, prescription drugs, and possibly biggest of all, food.

I'm a nurse (which has given me lots of access to substances I don't need to be around), but I'm not working right now because I'm taking care of my mother, who is in poor health. She requires 24 hour a day care, and I get no help from anyone else in her care. My…

HAMS: Harm Reduction for Alcohol

I have been using a harm reduction model for cutting back on my drinking and found hamsnetwork.org to be helpful with this aim. They have a chatroom, books, worksheets, and more for people who have found the 12 step programs lacking. They deal with moderation, harm reduction AND abstinence. Just wanted to share, and to see if there are other "Hamsters" out there.

Dealing with my partner's pornography addiction

I've been in a relationship for about two years. We're preparing to move in together soon and continue down the road, hopefully to marriage and a family together. Well, about a week ago my boyfriend threw a huge curveball into my life by admitting he's addicted to porn. He's living on his own for the first time since he's graduated from college and in the past few months he's spent nearly $1000 on porn sites. He's been financially bailed out by his parents a couple times, who simply…

Hello

I am a recovering Lortab addict and would love to have someone to talk to. I am in Nashville Tennessee.

Intergroup Intelligentsia - The Thought Police

Many local AA members have heard by now that the "We Agnostics" group has been forever excommunicated from the Indianapolis Intergroup meeting directory. Some have heard of this author's rather dramatic exit from the charade that they chose to call a "Service Committee Meeting." While I'm not particularly proud of my behavior, I can assure you that the entire group in attendance knows where I stand on this issue, and the chairperson of the "committee" specifically knows my…

Toronto A.A. Inter-group takes two atheist groups off offical city list

There was an article out yesterday on AlterNet about the Toronto Canada A.A. inter-group that took two atheist A.A. groups off their official city list. Some other groups got upset because the two groups, Beyond Belief and We Agnostics, rewrote some of the twelve steps.

Members of several groups wrote to the General Services Office of A.A. and got this response:

“What the other AA group does is none of your group’s business. Taking another group’s inventory with regard to the…

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Comment by maxdaemian on December 8, 2009 at 2:07pm: Hello All, Im very happy to have found this group, I've belonged to the Nexus for over a year and only just realized this group was here. Due to the nature of my job, I travel a a lot and am often unable to go to meeting or interact with other recovering addicts let alone those who are atheists. I've been having a difficult time lately with my recovery and have been away from home for quite awhile and I just wanted to express my appreciation for all of the people who belong to this group and have contributed to it. You have all helped me with your stories and comments. Anyone who would ever like to talk about recovery or atheism or anything for that matter, feel free to message me and thanks again. -maxdaemian

Comment by Curtis Edward Clark on November 19, 2009 at 3:43pm: Well, Luke, it obviously it not "official", yet, and may never be, but the current crop of "trusted servants" who are running the show in New York obviously understand the need to be open even to those who don't believe in God. In an article published in the GSO publication "box 459" just this year, they told about a man who uses a GI Joe doll as his "higher power", and they were not making fun of him.

I would stop holding a resentment toward the prejudices of Bill and Bob, and start understanding that our trusted servants are actually serving everyone now. How do you explain the "official recognition" of my group with a registration number? How do you explain that at the East Central Forum put on the GSO in my home town last weekend that I was not accosted by anyone when I got up to the open mic and declared that my homegroup was called "Atheists and Spirituality"?

AA is a different game now. Perhaps that has not filtered through the consciousness of all the groups, and it probably never will. There is a local group here that has their own official t-shirts and a "god quote" from the Big Book is bigger than life on the back of the shirts. THAT upset someone who went to the open mic, but the admission of my group didn't rile anyone; at least, not anyone who was willing to say it to my face.

Comment by Luke on November 18, 2009 at 10:57pm: Curtis:
Your message to the group said:
By the way, AA has no problem with atheists. I started a home group in my town, and the New York office (GSO) gave it an official registration number. The title of the current Gravevine, if you have not seen it, is "Always Inclusive, Never Exclusive."

I really don't see how a group who insists that all members must accept and make requests of a "Higher Power" is fully accepting of an atheist. They require a change that I cannot make. How can I be an atheist who believes in a Higher Power who answers requests for assistance? This would like being a fundamentalist christian who doesn't believe in gods.

Please explain.

Comment by Pete Soderman on November 18, 2009 at 10:10pm: Curtis, if I thought there was anything of value in AA for me I would have started an atheist AA group here, but there just isn't. I much prefer the SMART format, and it's based upon good science that works, rather then magic. Face it, no one who truly understands how they are abstaining needs to continue meetings for the rest of their life. Once you have the tools to dispute your irrational thinking, they rapidly become a part of your life, and you can move on. The only thing in AA I consider of value is the tenth step, as the big book describes it. If properly understood, it puts you in the moment, constantly aware of your thoughts, actions and beliefs as well as your interactions with others. Zen, of course, will put you int he same place, and faster 'cause that's what meditation is designed to do.

I'm aware that there are many "secular" AA groups across the country and perhaps the world, but I simply don't see the need for all the baggage AA brings with it. The fellowship is certainly a positive thing, but that can be obtained elsewhere, in Humanist groups, etc.. I'm not knocking what you're doing, just saying it's not for me.

Comment by Curtis Edward Clark on November 18, 2009 at 3:40pm: Pete. I started an atheist AA group in my hometown, and the GSO in NY gave it an official registration number. The title of the Gravevine this month is "Always Inclusive, Never Exclusive." They really mean it. And most people here in Kalamazoo accept me and tell me they appreciate my comments on being atheist in AA. http://groups.google.com/group/atheist-aa is the web address of my atheist AA Google group.

Comment by Pete Soderman on July 13, 2009 at 6:57pm: Hi, I'm new to Atheistnexus, but not to atheism or recovery. Quit drinking in '90 in AA, not doing the program (sorry, just couldn't make the leap), but enjoying the fellowship part. Finally, about five years ago I really had enough with the overt religiosity in this area of the country permeating the meetings and started looking for a secular recovery organization that made sense.

A couple of years ago, I found SMART, and started a meeting here in Wilmington, NC. It is doing fine, and so am I. My feeling is that if someone truly wants to quit, almost anything will work. If the individual does not want to quit, nothing will. Motivation is key. Take care.

http://smartrecovery.org/

Comment by Wendi on June 10, 2009 at 4:31pm: Nice link, Dr. Ned - I took the quiz and got 80%...but then I already knew I was an alkie. ;-) Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that I haven't had a cocktail in nearly a year!

Comment by Preston on June 8, 2009 at 2:24am: I have been a substance abuse and addictions counselor for over twenty years. I am always looking for support for clients who are nontheists.

Preston

Comment by Dr. Ned Kelly on May 25, 2009 at 10:39pm: Do you drink too much? Take this quiz:

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/problem/a/blquiz1.htm

Comment by James G. on April 26, 2009 at 2:19am: Why is the URL to this group http://atheistnexus.org/group/atheistsin12steprecovery ? Was that the original name? While I am not a dogmatic atheist; I don't see how atheists and freethinkers in their right mind can support 12 "programs" like AA. It has some of the worse elements of religious dogma, indoctrination and anti-rational thought sentiment I ever encountered... and I was Catholic! lol

The whole "spiritual not religious" thing is an insult to any rational person. Even when I was a superstitious believer it never made much sense. I am still a spiritual person as an atheist and i know what secular spirituality is and what religious spirituality is and AA is religious spirituality. Yoga, meditation, certain elements of Buddhism, REBT, art, humanism, naturalism, psychology, philosophy, and various ways of reaching mindfulness are spiritual and not religious.

Personally, while my experience with AA was negative, AA did help me in becoming an atheist by it's clear displays of the absurdity of religion, mythology, faith healing, suspension of rationality, and insults to the secular.

Thanks for a place to rant ;)