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Atheists, Addictions, 12 Step Recovery, and Alternatives

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Trouble with drugs (including alcohol) or other potential addictions? Tried 12 step recovery and found it wanting? You're welcome here.

Members: 94
Latest Activity: Dec 19, 2011

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Desiderata (Revised)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with it, whatever you conceive it to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Discussion Forum

New to group

Started by Kristy. Last reply by Reignfyre Dec 19, 2011. 3 Replies 0 Likes

HAMS: Harm Reduction for Alcohol

Started by jenny. Last reply by suzanne Buzz Nov 26, 2011. 0 Replies 0 Likes

Hello

Started by Cyndi Garriott. Last reply by Mike Supan Oct 31, 2011. 1 Reply 0 Likes

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New to group

Hi everyone,

I've been an Atheist Nexus member for awhile, but I've never posted anything before. I'm an all-around addict... alcohol, pot, prescription drugs, and possibly biggest of all, food.

I'm a nurse (which has given me lots of access to substances I don't need to be around), but I'm not working right now because I'm taking care of my mother, who is in poor health. She requires 24 hour a day care, and I get no help from anyone else in her care. My…

HAMS: Harm Reduction for Alcohol

I have been using a harm reduction model for cutting back on my drinking and found hamsnetwork.org to be helpful with this aim. They have a chatroom, books, worksheets, and more for people who have found the 12 step programs lacking. They deal with moderation, harm reduction AND abstinence. Just wanted to share, and to see if there are other "Hamsters" out there.

Dealing with my partner's pornography addiction

I've been in a relationship for about two years. We're preparing to move in together soon and continue down the road, hopefully to marriage and a family together. Well, about a week ago my boyfriend threw a huge curveball into my life by admitting he's addicted to porn. He's living on his own for the first time since he's graduated from college and in the past few months he's spent nearly $1000 on porn sites. He's been financially bailed out by his parents a couple times, who simply…

Hello

I am a recovering Lortab addict and would love to have someone to talk to. I am in Nashville Tennessee.

Intergroup Intelligentsia - The Thought Police

Many local AA members have heard by now that the "We Agnostics" group has been forever excommunicated from the Indianapolis Intergroup meeting directory. Some have heard of this author's rather dramatic exit from the charade that they chose to call a "Service Committee Meeting." While I'm not particularly proud of my behavior, I can assure you that the entire group in attendance knows where I stand on this issue, and the chairperson of the "committee" specifically knows my…

Toronto A.A. Inter-group takes two atheist groups off offical city list

There was an article out yesterday on AlterNet about the Toronto Canada A.A. inter-group that took two atheist A.A. groups off their official city list. Some other groups got upset because the two groups, Beyond Belief and We Agnostics, rewrote some of the twelve steps.

Members of several groups wrote to the General Services Office of A.A. and got this response:

“What the other AA group does is none of your group’s business. Taking another group’s inventory with regard to the…

New Book, new site

Hi, my name is Pete Soderman. Long-time member here, don't post much, but I'm working on a non-12-step recovery book. It's based upon my own 21-year journey in sobriety. I started a secular recovery group of my own after a time in AA, just couldn't take the irrationality any longer. A little later on I discovered SMART, and became a facilitator, starting a group in Wilmington, NC.

Now, I'm retired, living in Mexico with time on my hands, and a fire in the belly. I have just…

Well I did quit smoking......

And I never thought I'd be happy about it. I liked to smoke. I believed that I would miss it terribly. But I don't miss it at all.

I don't want to stop drinking. I like it. I enjoy it. But it is harming me. When I drink I cannot control angry impulses. And I have plenty of them.

If I just stop drinking, I think the impulses will build longer and be more dangerous when they explode beyond my control.

I am seeking anger management help and stress management help through…

Atheist in the 12-Step Rooms

I've posted an essay at a website called Everything2 about my experiences as an atheist in AA. Entries of this form are called nodes, and make judicious use of interconnecting links to other nodes on the site. To get the full experience of this kind of writing, click on some of the links that interest you for a quick look, or to bookmark for later reading.

http://everything2.com/user/thalio/writeups/12-step+program

I…

I am miserable right now...

I am goin' through Lortab withdrawals, I believe. I've done this before but it was several years ago. This time I was on 5 mg and supposed to only take one every 6 hours as needed, but I managed to take the entire bottle of 120 in 3 weeks. I know I have a terribly addictive personality. I really do not know what to say right now. I know I need help, but above all, I know I need to learn to help myself...

Comment Wall

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Comment by Mike Supan on January 11, 2011 at 9:57am: Bob, you might try this link. I haven't connected with anyone like this yet, but this may be a step in the direction you wish to go.
http://www.sossobriety.org/fastindex.htm

Comment by Erin O'Neil on August 15, 2010 at 10:24pm: I have been a member of NA for 23 years, and have been an atheist all that time. I didn't really realize it until a few years in, as I was striving to stay clean, and was being constantly told I needed some form of "higher power" to do this. I went through the whole gamut of spiritual concepts, and even adapted a version of the Eightfold Noble Path of Buddhism to better fit my progression in recovery. I frequently found myself at odd with the "old-timers", even when I had substantially more clean time than some of them. I refused to talk about "the program", and instead discussed "my process". It took me years to come completely "out" and talk openly about my atheism at meetings, and I still sometimes struggle with the sanctimonious drivel many people in meetings spout when I tell them I have no higher power. It seems they think that, despite my being able to remain clean for 23 years, it is imperative and inevitable that I will find a higher power someday. I will freely admit to finding it hard not to be judgmental sometimes. The neat thing is, I have stumbled upon a number of fellow atheists who also attend NA. I find that the fellowship of other recovering addicts is extremely beneficial to my continued recovery, and have a number of very close friends who are also in recovery. Although I still take issue with a large portion of the Basic Text, as it either directly discusses a higher power or implies dogmatic adherence to spirituality, there are some parts I have found very helpful. Hell, if Jefferson can do it with the bible, why can't I do it with the basic text?

Comment by Joe McCarthy on June 17, 2010 at 3:03pm: I had so many tiffs with my aa group people cuz of HP crap that I drankk. First for the wrong and addictive reasons but life chnges when you get older and people depend on you. I am sure I have the etoh'ism gene being descended from bog trotter still workers but so what. Have a snort and do what needs to be done.

Comment by Cindy E on June 17, 2010 at 9:55am: Hi. Looking for a non-theist codependents' group. Any ideas?

Comment by Joe S. on May 26, 2010 at 7:51am: Here are links to our meeting documents:

Meeting Format

We Agnostics How It Works

Meeting Flyer

Comment by Ian Mason on May 26, 2010 at 1:17am: Sounds good, Joe. I'd be grateful for chance to read them. The paragraph you've posted sounds very promising and hits a lot of nails on their heads.

Comment by Joe S. on May 25, 2010 at 9:32pm: Friends: I am fortunate to take part in a local AA group for non-theists. We have taken it upon ourselves to alter some of the wording in the steps - removing the notion of god - for our own purposes.

I'm happy to share our meeting format and step adaptation with anyone who might be interested.

"In this group, we don’t consider any part of our literature infallible or sacrosanct, and we recognize the historic and cultural context in which AA initially developed. We are grateful for those founders and their passionate dedication to helping other alcoholics achieve sobriety. We simply prefer to focus on the tangible, measurable actions and attitudes contained in the steps."

Comment by Clark Smeltzer on March 1, 2010 at 2:57pm: New member here. And, as would be assumed, alcoholic and involved in A.A. I haven't had a drink for over four months, am doing the work in the program that I find helpful-can't hurt to "clean house" a bit after fifteen years of boozing, but have to grit my teeth at many meetings. I'm also doing this far away from my home for the past 15 years, so A.A. is also functioning as a social outlet. And this is where the problems start. When I mention my atheism, many members have replied-well, just wait (reminiscent, of course, of the chapter to the agnostic). I often have to refer people back to the Third Tradition-The ONLY requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking. I've also been helped along by the wonders of modern medicine and have been taking anti-craving medications which I have found to be extremely helpful. I find it disturbing that so many in the fellowship do no reading on alcoholism/addiction outside of the Big Book. Many with whom I have spoken have no idea that anti-craving drugs even exist. I happen to be of the opinion that unnecessary suffering in the pursuit of recovery is immoral and, speculatively, one of the major causes of relapse. I mean, who among us isn't having a hard enough time trying to rebuild our lives and psyches after years of abuse? I want to stop drinking, I find comfort in the fact that there exists a group of individuals who have similarly suffered the effects of addiction, but do feel the repercussions of my beliefs/lack thereof. Alright, enough, just thought I'd introduce myself to the members.

clark.

Comment by Ian Mason on February 10, 2010 at 9:07am: Hi Tom, and welcome.

I can't believe either. Commen sense says that this "Higher Power" malarchy is a form of visualisation, a technique know to psychotherapy for years. With that in mind, I've adopted the figure of Sisyphos from Greek mythology as my hero. He was the one who had to push a rock up a hill every day, only to have it roll down again every night. This helps me stay sober and do my best in my fight against depression.

Once again, welcome and good luck.

Comment by Tom on February 10, 2010 at 8:05am: Hey everyone,
I just found this group this morning. Total serendipitydoo. I have been considering leaving a 12 step based recovery life for some time now.
I have been sober 6 years and am very much involved with AA and service work. I consider myself knowledgeable about AA, and am by no means a stupid person. I am probably on the low bottom scale as far as alcoholism and drug addiction goes. I started using frequently in the 3rd grade. Barely made it to junior high and never went to high school. I am on disability For PTSD and find that it is difficult most of the time to manage my life. Just wanted to give you an idea of where I’m coming from.
I live in the southern religion of the Midwest. Wouldn’t quit say it’s the buckle of the bible belt but pert near. I understand that AA is all over the world, and I have been to meetings all over the country, and get that there is a huge cross section of beliefs in the fellowship of AA. My sponsor is an atheist, my service sponsor is a reki healer, my partner is a pagan, and I am leaning towards Buddhism at the moment.
I have read the big book; AA comes of age, and many other books about AA. I admit that suffering from a mental disability my perception of this information may be skewed, so I try as best as I can to keep an open mind. I just really don’t understand how one can be an atheist and at the same time prescribe to a belief system that is centered in the idea of one God or higher power that can overcome the disease of alcoholism, and that no human power can achieve this. It seems to me the entire process is centered on that Idea. When I read the chapter to the agnostic, what I get is, if you have the problem of being a non believer here is how you can get over that problem to become a believer so that you can work these steps, and achieve the spiritual experience necessary to recover from this disease. The whole program is based on that idea. I m not talking about the fellowship just the program its self, what is written in the basic text of recovery the “big book”.
I have been too afraid to just walk away from AA, because it was so awful for me when I was using. I am afraid I well end up in prison or stuck in a mental institution for the rest of my life. So every week I go to meetings work on my amends, inventory. Work in the prisons with guys getting sober. And stay awake all night crying wishing I had the courage to pull the trigger. I just can’t force myself to believe that there is a god of any sort out there. It just doesn’t make sense to me every instinct I have tells me that doesn’t make sense. I don’t think my mind is ever going to fit into the AA construct. And I am scared to death to just stop going because I might go back to using.
And yet there are intelligent people who seem to think the same way I do, who are involved in the recovery process. And at the same time don’t believe in some monotheistic way of thinking. And seem to be happy and at peace. I have to believe that someday I can get to that place. And be at peace. Weather it is in AA or simply on my own. I am hoping to find similar people here, maybe Ill read something and the light will come on, and all of this will finally make sense.
Peace