Just a quick note: this is going to be cross-posted to a few different groups here on A|N due to possible shared-interest.

I don’t often attend local high school football games, but this was the homecoming game for the school where my wife teaches and our adopted-daughter is a senior. On our way from the parking lot to the gate, we noticed a rather manic street preacher standing atop a makeshift podium/soap-box and there was another guy standing slightly behind him and to his left with a small video camera pointed at the people lined up for the game. No one seemed to be paying him very much attention as he rambled on about Jesus and the dangers of the music these kids listen to and apathy and some other non-sense that I was in no mood to even absorb so that I may regurgitate here for your reading pleasure. I’m kind of kicking myself for this now, because I wish I had paid more attention and I might have noticed who it was that handed me the small slip of paper (a $1,000,000 bill with Grant’s portrait) that I had mistakenly assumed was a coupon for a local restaurant, or something to that effect, which I took as it was put out in front of me and I slipped it into my pocket so I could look at it later (hoping it was for a restaurant where I actually like to eat). I didn’t know that the people handing out these pieces of paper were actually cohorts of the aforementioned maniacal preacher.

Once I returned home and found that slip of paper still in my pocket, I pulled it out and flipped it over from the Grant side to find “Here’s the Million Dollar Question…” written in small, bold lettering, followed by “Are you good enough to go to Heaven?” Before I could even read any further, I exclaimed with great annoyance, “What the fuck?!” and my mind immediately turned to the recent stories about the high school cheerleaders with religious signs at the school’s football games, and other stories about City Council prayers and the FFRF’s effort to squash these pests. Normally, I am not a very confrontational person, but I found this to be in very bad taste and would have liked to point it out to the people handing these things out.

To make a longer story short, two web sites are listed on this piece of paper:
www.OneMillionTracts.com which has a bunch of Ray Comfort books for sale…
and
www.EastCoastEvangelism.com whose front page features a video about a “former lesbian saved by grace through faith for the glory of God” among other equally asinine assaults on human intellect…

This would be easier if I had access to a scanner right now, but there’s some stupid stuff on the front which I found annoyingly funny. In place of the serial number normally found on US currency, it says JN 316RU4GOD. Under and illegible signature, it says “Department of Eternal Affairs”.

For anyone who is interested, here is the full text (verbatim) of the evangelical propaganda I received:

Here’s the Million Dollar Question… Are you good enough to go to Heaven? Let’s see if you are a good person. Have you ever told a lie? White lies, fibs, and exaggerations are all considered lies to God. If you have, then you are a liar. Have you ever stolen anything (the value doesn’t matter)? If you have, then you are a thief. Have you ever murdered anybody? The Bible says “Whosoever hates his brother is a murderer” (1 John 3:15). Have you ever hated anybody? If so, then God sees you as a murderer. On the Day of Judgment, will you be innocent or guilty? If you are reasonable, you will see that you will be guilty, and therefore end up in Hell. The good news is that’s not God’s will. Picture yourself in a courtroom, guilty of many serious crimes. The fine is $500,000 or life in prison. You don’t have any money with which to pay your fine. The guards begin to lead you off to jail. All of a sudden, someone you don’t even know steps in and pays your fine for you. You are free to go. How would that make you feel? That’s what Jesus Christ did for you 2,000 years ago. He paid the penalty for your sins by dying on the cross. He defeated death by rising from the dead three days later. The Bible expresses it like this: “God commends His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “For God so loved the world, that He gave us his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). God promises eternal life to those who confess and forsake their sins and place their faith in Jesus Christ alone to save them. Confess your sins to God (name them) and forsake them once and for all. Then place your faith in Jesus. Don’t put it off until tomorrow! You may not have tomorrow. Read your Bible and obey what you read. God will never let you down.

Tags: church, evangelical, evangelism, hampton roads, high school, separation, state, virginia

Views: 13

Replies to This Discussion

Not an uncommon tactic, though I often see it on something designed to look like real money, say a $20. You fold it with the money part facing out and leave it on a bus or something. Harry the Homeless guy finds it, thinks he's going to eat today, but surprise! Even better than food; it's a pamphlet all about how your religion is wrong and ours is right!

Working as a tour guide someone tipped me once with such a pamphlet. Naturally I didn't know until I unfolded my tip money at the end of the day.

Fucking assholes.
This actually does look like real money, almost the same size and colours. I just compared it with a $20 in my wallet, and it's only a little bit longer, but the colours and height are about the same.

That's fucked up that you got tipped with one of those, and that person probably thought they were doing you a huge favour!
"That's fucked up that you got tipped with one of those, and that person probably thought they were doing you a huge favour!"

Extremely fucked up and extremely insulting. Especially when you work a job where tips are the majority of your paycheck.

I learned real fast that all things being equal, the more religious/spiritual a person - ANY path or religion - the less the tip if there is one at all. That includes the New Agers who frequented the town where I was tour guiding.
It's knowing things like this that always make me tip a bit extra than is necessary.
I do the same. when i went out one night i overheard a bartender say "lesbians are such bad tippers", since then i tip the maximum and sometimes more for exceptional service!

"lesbians are bad tippers", my ass!! lmao!!
8D Those of us who used to (and those who still do) live on tips thank you!

Even before getting that job I have always prided myself on being a good tipper. Though 15-18% is the standard in the U.S., I follow the new-new standard of 20% (and often round up a bit).

Way easier to do the math and I figure if I can afford to go out for lunch today, I can afford to put that extra dollar on the table. That extra dollar won't make or break me but it's likely to make the server's day.
Have you ever given something to someone? That means that you're generous! Have you ever said a good thing to someone? That means that you're kind. Have you ever done the right thing even though it was difficult? Then you're brave. So, since you're generous, kind, and brave, why wouldn't you go to heaven?
Ridiculous garbage. A few weekends ago I was at an art fair and there was a similar situation with a person yelling into a microphone with a portable speaker at his feet. Everyone ignored him. These crazies are making us 'soulless' atheists look better and better.
Buy some FFRF nontracts and hand one back. http://ffrf.org/shop/nontracts/ That would be a good time had by all, I'm sure.
I like this idea. I already have some of the "Is America A Christian Nation?" nontracts.

Also, in looking at that site, they have several brochures and nontracts that you can "read online" (translation: save to your computer and print them at work on the company dime, especially if you work for a company with a lot of laser printers).
It's one thing for a random attention-seeking crazy person to shout at an indifferent crowd, but when I realized that this was a concentrated effort by an organized group (once I realized what was on that piece of paper), I was deeply offended.
I got a million-dollar bill with pretty much exactly the same text on it once, except it had Ronald Reagan's picture on it instead of Grant.

The bill I got was also made to look distinct from real money - it was about an inch taller and 3 inches wider, and it was kind of gold-or-sepia tone (like the fake money bookmarks you see at Barnes & Noble or Border's).

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