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Christians invent new alternative to Halloween: Jesus Ween!

Believe it or not this is not a Poe.

Hey, Christians! Are you worried that Halloween, with its party atmosphere and costumed witches and spooks, is too pagan for you and your family? Well, fuhgeddaboudit! Now there's a brand new Christian way to celebrate October 31: Jesus Ween!

And it's not about scaring the bejeezus out of kids with hellfire sermons or tours of gory hell-houses either. That's old school. This is the new, kinder, gentler, tech-friendly Christianity we're talking about. They hold seminars! They even have their own website, Twitter account and Facebook page!

More here.

Tags: Christian, Halloween

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Nerdlass on October 10, 2011 at 9:16pm

They misspelled it! It's "wean" and ex-christians have been weaned off Jesus for ages. Nothing new! ;)

But yeah... this is just one for the pile, along with Hell Houses and Trunk or Treat in church parking lots...

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on October 10, 2011 at 11:15pm

I dunno, Hell Houses can be fun and damned funny.

Permalink Reply by Hugh Kramer on October 14, 2011 at 11:31am

A tip for you Scrabble players: Don't challenge an opponent who uses the word "ween". It's a real word (not to be confused with "wean") and that's the correct spelling. It means "to believe."

Permalink Reply by Sean Murphy on October 10, 2011 at 9:53pm

But, but... Halloween is the most purely Christian of the Christian holidays! It's the one that keeps the fewest original pagan elements!

Actually, when I saw the headline, my brain immediately rendered it as Jesus-weenie for some reason...

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on October 10, 2011 at 11:16pm

*cough*Freud!*cough*

Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on October 11, 2011 at 11:29am

I googled on it and first came up with Jesus weed. Which wasn't very interesting. As it is the "holyday" Jesusween concept is pretty pathetic. Silly twits.

Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on October 11, 2011 at 11:54am

LMAO! That is too funny. I especially liked the candy bibles and the gingerbread jesus. I have met these types and they never hand out many tracts. The kids get wise pretty fast and pass the word on avoiding those houses. They only get the unsuspecting. We've gotten the tract on candy wrapper version too. It's amazing how fast those go into the trash. LOL! I don't care what they do as long as they don't stop my family from enjoying the holiday.

Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on October 11, 2011 at 12:08pm

Maybe we should hand out atheist tracts instead of halloween candy? Gingerbread Jesus seems kind of gross but would make communion more tasty. No gingerbread figures from that other abrahamic religion - that could lead to a fatwā.

Permalink Reply by Carl Pastor on October 11, 2011 at 12:18pm