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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

Fuck the motherfucker!

Started by Vasanth Ra. Last reply by Richard C Brown Jun 1. 6 Replies

CATHOLIC PRIEST TRAINING VIDEO

Started by Mike Lee. Last reply by Dogly Oct 3, 2013. 3 Replies

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Comment by Patricia on July 22, 2012 at 1:38pm

The pope is in Aberdeen on his tour of Scotland.

His 4X4 Popemobile was
driving along the golden sands when there
was an enormous commotion heard
just off the headland. They
rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope
noticed, just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an
English
football jersey struggling frantically to free himself from
the
jaws of a twenty foot shark.

At that moment a speedboat containing
three men wearing Scottish
football tops roared into view from around the
lighthouse.
Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon
into
the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two
reached
out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then,
using long clubs, beat
the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into
the speed boat
along with the dead shark and were preparing for a hasty
retreat
when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of
course
the Pope - he was summoning them to the beach. Upon reaching
the
shore they were greeted by His Holiness who was in raptures about
the
rescue and said,

"I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had
heard that
there were some racist xenophobic people trying to
divide
Scotland and England, but now I have seen with my own eyes
that
this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly
enlightened
example of racial harmony and could serve as a model
on which other nations
could follow."

He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of
dust.

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others "Who was
that??"

"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in
direct
contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well,"
the harpoonist replied, "that may be but he knows f**k
all about shark
hunting. How's that bait holding up?"

Comment by Idaho Spud on July 20, 2012 at 7:48am

Chris, I like the lost episode.

Comment by Chris Dodds on July 19, 2012 at 8:58pm

I would like to recite to you a piece of a transcript for a lost episode of the Jerry Springer Show...

JERRY: Thank you, welcome to the show, my guests today say they've got to come clean about their secrets.  Please meet Mary, she says she has to tell her husband something that he won't like.  Mary what's going on?

MARY: Well, Jerry, I'm here today to tell my husband, Joseph, that I'm pregnant.

JERRY: Well, what's the problem?

MARY: The thing is, that he and I have only been married for a short time and we haven't had sex.

JERRY: Oh, so who is the father?

MARY: Um, some guy named Yahweh says he's the father, but I don't even remember having sex with anyone.  I think he might've drugged me and raped me while I was unconscious.

AUDIENCE: JERRY!  JERRY!  JERRY!

Comment by Chris Dodds on July 18, 2012 at 8:37pm

RE: ATHEIST CHURCH SIGNS

Where's the "Temple of Thought"?  I could go for some punch and pie.

Comment by Pat on July 18, 2012 at 6:27pm

EVANGETILE DYSFUNCTION

Comment by The Flying Atheist on July 18, 2012 at 11:43am

RE:  Atheist Church Signs.

My favorite:  God created invisible people in his own image.

LOL

Comment by Idaho Spud on July 18, 2012 at 11:39am

Now there's a supper I'd like to attend!

Comment by Idaho Spud on July 18, 2012 at 11:37am

Funny.  Thanks Soulf2.

Comment by Doc on July 18, 2012 at 9:17am

Comment by Soulf2 on July 18, 2012 at 7:42am

 

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