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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

BBC Black books comeday recommendation

Started by Christopher Cosgrove. Last reply by rockytij Sep 19. 1 Reply

Jesus, Rocky and Fellatio

Started by Richard Cahill. Last reply by The Devian Sep 18. 3 Replies

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

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Comment by Pat on September 7, 2012 at 12:54pm

An eight year old Catholic boy desperately wants a bicycle, so he goes and asks his Mom. She’s busy with the other 6 children, and tells him to ask his Dad. His Dad, working on the car in the garage, tells him to ask Santa for one. “But Dad,” the boy protests, “it’s May and I want one for the summer.” His Dad shoots back, “Then ask Jesus.”

The boy thinks about it, and decides that’s a good idea. Jesus is more powerful than Santa and works all year long. So, he goes to his room and starts to write, “Dear Jesus, I am a very good boy…” and realizing he has done a few naughty things, and Jesus is the one entity you don’t lie to, tears up the paper and starts over. “Dear Jesus, I have been pretty good…” Tears that one up to. By the time he gets to “Dear Jesus, I hope to one day be a good boy…” he knows he’s screwed. He runs out of the house, crying with the realization he’ll never get that bike.

About a block down the street, he sees an inverted bath tub in a front yard with a statue of the Virgin Mary in it. He makes sure no one is looking, runs over, and grabs the statue.  He runs straight back to his house, goes in the back door, runs up the stairs to his room, locks the door, and puts the statue under the bed. He takes out his notepad and pencil and starts writing again.

"Dear Jesus, If you ever want to see your mother again…..”

Comment by Andrew Hall on August 30, 2012 at 8:08pm

Comment by Tony Carroll on August 27, 2012 at 10:03pm

Comment by Terry Groff on August 24, 2012 at 3:53pm

"If the new hurricane hits Tampa does that mean god is angry with the Republicans?"


It would only prove that if god actually existed, it would be a woman.

Comment by sk8eycat on August 24, 2012 at 3:47pm

Pat, I'm sorry.  That punch line is SO old (I first heard it about 55 years ago), and was originally used in an entirely different context, but when I saw the weather map...I couldn't resist.   (I think that's a blush.)

 

Comment by Idaho Spud on August 24, 2012 at 3:44pm

"tampa wif 'em."  Good one.

Comment by Pat on August 24, 2012 at 3:22pm

@sk8eycat - "tampa wif' em." Groan!(OK, secretly, I did chuckle).

Comment by sk8eycat on August 24, 2012 at 3:09pm

"If the new hurricane hits Tampa does that mean god is angry with the Republicans?"

Ah dunno, but Ah sho hope it means he's gonna tampa wif 'em.

Comment by Lillie on August 24, 2012 at 12:30pm

We have been in the Twilight Zone since George W first took office.  If the new hurricane hits Tampa does that mean god is angry with the Republicans?

Comment by Alex Barnham on August 24, 2012 at 11:35am

And so, brethren, that is why Jesus is covered.  And that's why the New Testament says, "You toucha my child and I gonna beat you silly ass".

 

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