Information

Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

Members: 2122
Latest Activity: 5 hours ago

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

BBC Black books comeday recommendation

Started by Christopher Cosgrove. Last reply by rockytij Sep 19. 1 Reply

Jesus, Rocky and Fellatio

Started by Richard Cahill. Last reply by The Devian Sep 18. 3 Replies

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Atheist Humor to add comments!

Comment by Loren Miller on July 20, 2013 at 2:35pm

Why doesn't god come out of the closet?  Fear, of course!  But fear of what?  Lessee...

  • Pissed off Jews
  • Pissed off Christians
  • Pissed off Muslims
  • Pissed off Hindus
  • Get the picture?

Pissed off because he didn't do what they expected him to do, didn't save their friend from cancer or help them get an A on the Math final or wouldn't guide them to their missing car keys or any one of a billion other different complaints, petty and otherwise.

There's something to chuckle at: the creator of the universe, scared shitless of his own creation!

Comment by Nsajigwa sisi kwa sisi on July 20, 2013 at 2:14pm
Some Atheists are reluctant to come out of the closet.There are reasons.
But Why God himself doesn’t come out of closet? What does he fear..?
Comment by rockytij on July 15, 2013 at 10:50pm

Comment by rockytij on July 15, 2013 at 10:49pm

Comment by rockytij on July 15, 2013 at 10:48pm

Comment by rockytij on July 15, 2013 at 10:47pm

Comment by Humble Pie on July 7, 2013 at 9:36pm

I read that list to my partner last night and she loved it as much as I did.  But, responding to Grinning Cat...

It's true.  I like monogamy.  So does my partner.  It definitely works for us.  But without a "higher power" to define things for us, I can have plenty of room in my worldview for all my friends who feel different things are right for them.

Comment by Grinning Cat on July 6, 2013 at 10:27am

"Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony."

<grin!>

Deborah Anapol, in her book Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits, a clear-headed introduction to "responsible nonmonogamy", riffed on that phrase in cartoons that mentioned "responsible nonmonopoly" and "responsible nonmonotony" (and maybe a few others I've forgotten).

(Then again, quite a few people know that they need monogamy. That's a valid reason, as opposed to "my god said so.")

Comment by Terry Groff on July 3, 2013 at 2:46pm

Mount Cyanide. That's rich :-)

Comment by Pat on July 3, 2013 at 2:24pm

The following was sent to me via email, and it was stated to be answers received from small children in a religious studies class. I responded that the answers make as much, if not more, sense as the original.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD , WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS .

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNTCYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS .

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY. 

 

Members (2122)

 
 
 

Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today

Donate

 

Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon

Amazon

 

Latest Activity

Daniel W replied to Ceil's discussion An interesting discussion on Santa...
15 minutes ago
Leon Gretsky replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
19 minutes ago
Leon Gretsky replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
28 minutes ago
Loren Miller commented on Loren Miller's blog post Is god good?
30 minutes ago
Glen Rosenberg replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
31 minutes ago
Ceil replied to Ceil's discussion An interesting discussion on Santa...
31 minutes ago
Scott DeLong liked Dan Barker's profile
33 minutes ago
Leon Gretsky replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
33 minutes ago
Glen Rosenberg replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
36 minutes ago
Leon Gretsky replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
39 minutes ago
Glen Rosenberg replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
43 minutes ago
Leon Gretsky replied to Deidre's discussion Dogmatic atheism?
45 minutes ago

© 2014   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service