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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Latest Activity: on Sunday

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

Fuck the motherfucker!

Started by Vasanth Ra. Last reply by Richard C Brown Jun 1. 6 Replies

CATHOLIC PRIEST TRAINING VIDEO

Started by Mike Lee. Last reply by Dogly Oct 3, 2013. 3 Replies

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Comment by Mutt13 on April 3, 2011 at 12:00am
Comment by Joseph P on April 2, 2011 at 11:11pm
Forget the normal part of our brain function.  What about the schizophrenics?  They don't just have the little voices nagging them in the back of their mind.  They have full on hallucinations, sometimes, including ... burning bushes which are not consumed by the flame ... angels ...
Comment by Alice on April 2, 2011 at 10:23pm

Curious – I wonder about a response that doesn’t express hate or anger, but does serve to express the non reality of their statement.

 

Response: “Well that’s if you’re talking about God in the sense of the bicameral mind – pre our modern understanding of the voices in our head being actually a normal part of our human brain function!”

Comment by Phister Gagghol on April 2, 2011 at 8:56pm
"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses." - Lenny Bruce
Comment by UUMom on April 2, 2011 at 12:32pm

I do not think of religious people as "insane" - they are working off their feeling brain which is primal and even intelligent & productive people do this. Using reason is something that's learned and that many people have to work at very hard to use it at all, especially when they're not born into a family that uses reason (probably the majority).

I don't know how a business person could be in a place to never deal with this - the general public is not that intelligent. You would have to isolate yourself to a select clientele. That's kind of segregationist. Are you sure that's how you'd like to be? Or could you take the higher road and deal with it by thinking, "those poor ignorant people" and letting go of the anxiety it causes you?

Comment by Rudy V Kiist on April 2, 2011 at 11:17am
That's when you say, "Hold on...God just spoke to me and said I must give you the apartment on the top floor and to double the application fee."
Comment by Joseph P on April 2, 2011 at 10:53am
Honestly, teaching them to accept credit for their own accomplishments would probably do it.  When people start to see things in a more cause/effect relationship, between people and not magical interferences, they'll see how freaking useless their god is.
Comment by Samantha Madison on April 2, 2011 at 10:09am
I am a leasing agent for an apartment complex and I of course interact with a mixture of people within the day. I showed these two women an apartment yesterday and they were looking for one for their sister who just had a stroke. Im just a kind and caring person so of course I helped them out, I found an apartment on the first floor (because she has trouble walking) and said I would waive their application fee. Then as they were leaving they said how professional and helpful I was and that I was "sent to them from god" "god bless me and have a blessed day".....Its really awful that we have to deal with so many fucking insane people in this world. I dont want god in my life so dont say that kind of bullshit to me. I should just get ATHEIST tatted on my head in big red letters so people would just fuck off. I regret being nice to these women because I worked extra hard for them to make it easier for their ill sister and all the credit goes to who else... GOD-FML!
Comment by Phister Gagghol on April 2, 2011 at 1:51am

Q:  Why did the bimbo fall in love with Jesus?

A: Because she heard that he was hung like this . . .

 

 

Q:  Why did the bimbo dump Jesus?

A:  She only got to nail him once and it took him three days to rise.

Comment by rockytij on April 1, 2011 at 12:54am
A man walks into a bar with a painting of a black cat on it. He says to the bartender, "I'll sell you this painting for $50, but the story behind it will cost $100."

The bartender, really liking the painting, says, "Sure. I'll buy it, but I don't care about your story."

After his shift is over, he places the painting in the back seat of his car and drives home. On the way, he sees black cats following his car. Eventually, they get so bad, he drives to a bridge and seeing no other explanation, he throws the painting over the railing. The cats all jump in after it, drowning themselves.

The next day, the same man comes into the bar and asks the bartender, "So... do you want to hear that story now for $100?"

The bartender says, "No thanks. But hey... do you have any paintings of the Pope?"
 

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