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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Latest Activity: 11 hours ago

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Napoleon Bonaparte Nov 25, 2013. 5 Replies

Fuck the motherfucker!

Started by R.Vasanthan. Last reply by Selva Oct 17, 2013. 3 Replies

CATHOLIC PRIEST TRAINING VIDEO

Started by Mike Lee. Last reply by Dogly Oct 3, 2013. 3 Replies

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Comment by Humble Pie on July 7, 2013 at 9:36pm

I read that list to my partner last night and she loved it as much as I did.  But, responding to Grinning Cat...

It's true.  I like monogamy.  So does my partner.  It definitely works for us.  But without a "higher power" to define things for us, I can have plenty of room in my worldview for all my friends who feel different things are right for them.

Comment by Grinning Cat on July 6, 2013 at 10:27am

"Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony."

<grin!>

Deborah Anapol, in her book Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits, a clear-headed introduction to "responsible nonmonogamy", riffed on that phrase in cartoons that mentioned "responsible nonmonopoly" and "responsible nonmonotony" (and maybe a few others I've forgotten).

(Then again, quite a few people know that they need monogamy. That's a valid reason, as opposed to "my god said so.")

Comment by Patricia on July 3, 2013 at 3:05pm

Old, but funny....

Comment by Terry Groff on July 3, 2013 at 2:46pm

Mount Cyanide. That's rich :-)

Comment by Pat on July 3, 2013 at 2:24pm

The following was sent to me via email, and it was stated to be answers received from small children in a religious studies class. I responded that the answers make as much, if not more, sense as the original.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD , WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS .

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNTCYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS .

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY. 

Comment by Patricia on June 19, 2013 at 3:11pm

Ain't that the truth, FA?

Comment by The Flying Atheist on June 19, 2013 at 2:48pm

Comment by Nsajigwa sisi kwa sisi on June 18, 2013 at 7:12am

Two folks - T and A were debating...
T : You know Islam is closest to Atheism more than any other Religion..?
A : How? prove it..!
T: Yes i can First They both dont have an image of god..!
and here is logical (Mathematical) proof...
[There is no god] + [But Allah] = Muslim
[No god / Atheism] + [But Allah] = Muslim
[Atheism] = Muslim - [But Allah]

By Nsajigwa and Charu Shetty

Comment by Patricia on June 13, 2013 at 6:15pm

Bet the same sh*t comes out of it's 'face' too.....hahaha..

Comment by Terry Groff on June 13, 2013 at 5:54pm

Dog's butt looks like Jesus

 

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