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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

Members: 2121
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

Fuck the motherfucker!

Started by Vasanth Ra. Last reply by Richard C Brown Jun 1. 6 Replies

CATHOLIC PRIEST TRAINING VIDEO

Started by Mike Lee. Last reply by Dogly Oct 3, 2013. 3 Replies

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Comment by IMAOZI on February 19, 2009 at 2:38pm

Comment by Ian Mason on February 19, 2009 at 12:45pm
Good idea, Mojo if we can take their weapons away too. Let the fanatics make do with sticks and stones when they kill each other.
Comment by mojo5501 on February 18, 2009 at 7:38pm
Statement by Scott Dickers, Editor of "The Onion", Nov 08, Freethought Today article in www.ffrf.org:

So I thought, we should, as a society, bar anyone who doesn’t accept evolution from partaking of any technological advance derived from the science that makes evolution true. No access to modern medicine, no access to basic biological, chemical products or knowledge. You want to heat up your food before you eat it? Sorry. You’re eating your meat raw because you don’t believe in germs. And forget antibiotics. You’re on your own. You’re welcome to pray for a better life, but you can’t use science. That’s cheating because you don’t believe in science. If people want to live in the 17th century, let them.
Comment by cj the cynic on February 15, 2009 at 11:58am
Comment by Max on February 15, 2009 at 12:01am
Check out this site. It is funner then hell. Max

http://www.christonthecrapper.com/
Comment by Max on February 14, 2009 at 11:44pm

Comment by Max on February 14, 2009 at 11:37pm
Last Words

Jesus was nailed up on the cross. The crowds were all around him. From on the cross Jesus cries out "John..."

John, hearing this, rushes up to his Lord. Before he can get close a Centurion grabs him and cuts off his right foot and throws him back in the crowd.

Again Jesus cries out "John..."

John again fights his way throughout the crowd. The Centurion grabs him and cuts off his left foot and throws him back.

Jesus cries out yet again "John..."

John drags himself through the crowd with his hands only to meet the same Centurion who cuts of his right hand and throws him back into the crowd.

"John..."

John manages to crawl through the crowd pulling himself along the ground by his left and manages to sneak past the Centurion this time. He drags himself over to the cross and looks up at his Master and says "I am here my Lord. What is it?"

Jesus says "John... I can see your house from up here."
Comment by Max on February 14, 2009 at 11:35pm
Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to make them drink it.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.

4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.

2. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

1. You can prove you have a Beer.
Comment by Max on February 14, 2009 at 11:34pm
The Power of Prayer

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.

The atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day.

So one day, deep in prayer, the religious man raised his eyes towards heaven and asked, "Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbor, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"

And a great voice was heard from above, "Because he doesn't bother me all the time!"
Comment by Max on February 14, 2009 at 11:33pm
Jesus walks into a hotel...

Jesus walks into a hotel, goes up to the counter. He puts three nails on the counter and says, "I need to be put up for the night."

From AAI
 

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