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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

Fuck the motherfucker!

Started by Vasanth Ra. Last reply by Richard C Brown Jun 1. 6 Replies

CATHOLIC PRIEST TRAINING VIDEO

Started by Mike Lee. Last reply by Dogly Oct 3, 2013. 3 Replies

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Comment by Patricia on May 4, 2014 at 1:22am

Comment by Patricia on May 1, 2014 at 11:47pm

Nun and Fortune Telling Machine
-------------------------

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tell your fortune. So, she thought to herself "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card that said, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and your are going to Chicago, Illinois."

She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again.

She went back to the machine and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and you are going to Chicago, Illinois and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong, I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life."

She sat down again. From nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and just started playing beautiful music.

Startled, she looked back at the machine and said "This is incredible. I've got to try it again".

Back to the machine. She put her nickel in and another card came out. It said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds, you're going to Chicago, Illinois and you're going to break wind".

Now, the nun knows the machine is wrong "I never broke wind in public a day in my life!"

Well, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind. Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself "This is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it again."

She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds and you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago."

Comment by ɟǝןıx dǝʇɹɐɹ on April 27, 2014 at 11:43pm

God Is Disappointed in You: The Book of Genesis

https://medium.com/the-nib/95555fc0c5d2

Comment by booklover on April 22, 2014 at 7:58pm

LOL Pat!

Comment by Pat on April 22, 2014 at 1:17pm

A pastor decides to make a point about 'clean living' during his Sunday service. He has the congregation gather around and shows them 4 earthworms. He puts the first in a bowl of straight Jack Daniels. The second, he puts in a box filled with cigar smoke. The third, he puts in a bowl of melted chocolate. And the fourth, he places in a dish of garden soil.

As expected, the worm in Jack Daniels dies. As do the worms in the smoke filled box and the dish of chocolate. The fourth however, is alive and healthy. He asks his congregation what they have learned by this demonstration.

An old man in the back yells out, "Drink booze, smoke cigars and eat chocolate. That way you won't get worms."

Comment by booklover on April 19, 2014 at 10:39am

lol, thanks Spud!  I only mention it's my birthday since it's on the same day jeebus rose from the dead.  ha ha ha

Comment by Idaho Spud on April 19, 2014 at 10:08am

Oh, me me me!  I want a chocolate bunny!

Happy happy birthday, and many more.

Comment by booklover on April 19, 2014 at 7:49am

Thanks for the birthday wishes!  My birthday hardly ever falls on easter, but I'll share the chocolate bunnies,  ha ha.

Comment by booklover on April 19, 2014 at 7:41am

Patricia, love your coffee post.  I'm drinking Folgers right now!  I have a surgical procedure Monday and they said I could drink black coffee in the a.m.. Whew!!!

Good poster Pat!

Comment by Pat on April 19, 2014 at 7:12am

Easter dinner anyone?

 

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