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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Latest Activity: on Saturday

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

Fuck the motherfucker!

Started by Vasanth Ra. Last reply by Richard C Brown Jun 1. 6 Replies

CATHOLIC PRIEST TRAINING VIDEO

Started by Mike Lee. Last reply by Dogly Oct 3, 2013. 3 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by Joseph P on October 22, 2012 at 5:35pm

Does it count as humor when your jokes are a completely accurate analysis of the subject you're mocking?

Comment by sk8eycat on October 22, 2012 at 5:31pm

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

*******************
My addition:  You believe that your Triune God impregnated his own mother in order to for her to give birth to his 3rd persona, but you would be outraged if someone called him a "mother f--ker."

Comment by Joan Denoo on October 22, 2012 at 2:09pm

Chris Dodds, Funny!

Comment by Chris Dodds on October 22, 2012 at 1:24pm

A cop pulls a guy over for suspicion of drunk driving.  When he looks at the driver, he finds out that the driver's a priest.  "Have you been drinking, father?" the cop asked.  "Only water officer," the priest answered.  The cop sniffs a couple of times and asks, "Then why do I smell wine?"  The priest thought about for a couple seconds and then exclaimed, "GOOD LORD HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!"

Comment by Joseph P on October 22, 2012 at 12:42pm
Where did that come from? Did you get it from an actual Christian site, or from an atheist site that mocks Christians? I'm always suspicious of this sort of thing.
Comment by Sean P. Washington on October 22, 2012 at 12:36pm

This is great... It's like a hodgepodge of 1st grader questions.

Comment by Andrew Hall on October 22, 2012 at 4:57am

Comment by Andrew Hall on October 17, 2012 at 7:05pm
Comment by Grinning Cat on October 14, 2012 at 12:00am

Back to dentists... I found this on Urban Dictionary:

My theistic god, when I was younger, was Santa then along came the Tooth Fairy, that Grampa told me about. I stole gramps dentures from the glass beside his bed and left him 32 quarters, it doesn't get any better than that.

(source)

Comment by sk8eycat on October 13, 2012 at 12:07am

My JW sister ceated this LOL (srsly!)  PLEASE vote for it here: http://cheezburger.com/6662509824

Holy cow! They DO wear funny underwear!

 

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