Atheist Humor

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Comment by Greg LeGore on September 10, 2012 at 1:35am

@sk8eycat - needed a good laugh - thanks for sharing!

@Andrew Hall - too sad to be funny; islam goes to ridiculous lengths to explain this away (basically saying that he protected an innocent young girl) rather than accept what it actually was.

Comment by sk8eycat on September 10, 2012 at 12:08am

Hmmmm....Asbestos Mormon underwear???

Comment by Andrew Hall on September 9, 2012 at 8:27pm

Comment by Patricia on September 7, 2012 at 3:52pm

Good one Pat!!!!!

Comment by Pat on September 7, 2012 at 12:54pm

An eight year old Catholic boy desperately wants a bicycle, so he goes and asks his Mom. She’s busy with the other 6 children, and tells him to ask his Dad. His Dad, working on the car in the garage, tells him to ask Santa for one. “But Dad,” the boy protests, “it’s May and I want one for the summer.” His Dad shoots back, “Then ask Jesus.”

The boy thinks about it, and decides that’s a good idea. Jesus is more powerful than Santa and works all year long. So, he goes to his room and starts to write, “Dear Jesus, I am a very good boy…” and realizing he has done a few naughty things, and Jesus is the one entity you don’t lie to, tears up the paper and starts over. “Dear Jesus, I have been pretty good…” Tears that one up to. By the time he gets to “Dear Jesus, I hope to one day be a good boy…” he knows he’s screwed. He runs out of the house, crying with the realization he’ll never get that bike.

About a block down the street, he sees an inverted bath tub in a front yard with a statue of the Virgin Mary in it. He makes sure no one is looking, runs over, and grabs the statue.  He runs straight back to his house, goes in the back door, runs up the stairs to his room, locks the door, and puts the statue under the bed. He takes out his notepad and pencil and starts writing again.

"Dear Jesus, If you ever want to see your mother again…..”

Comment by Patricia on September 6, 2012 at 1:14pm

An Antartian died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer three questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are in a year?

3. What is God's first name?

The Antartian thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

3. God has two first names, and they are Andy and Howard."

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.

But how did you get 12 seconds in a year, and why did you ever think that God's first name was either Andy or Howard?"

The Antartian replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

"OK, I give," said Saint Peter, "but what about the God's first name stuff?"

The Antartian said, "Well, from the song....Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own..., and the prayer...Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...."

Saint Peter let him in without another word. 

Comment by Patricia on September 4, 2012 at 4:35pm

No playin'!!!!!!

Comment by Andrew Hall on August 30, 2012 at 8:08pm

Comment by Tony Carroll on August 27, 2012 at 10:03pm

Comment by Patricia on August 25, 2012 at 1:37pm

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