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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by LaSmirk Jun 17. 6 Replies

Fuck the motherfucker!

Started by Vasanth Ra. Last reply by Richard C Brown Jun 1. 6 Replies

CATHOLIC PRIEST TRAINING VIDEO

Started by Mike Lee. Last reply by Dogly Oct 3, 2013. 3 Replies

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Comment by David Sensei on August 22, 2012 at 3:45am

@sk8eycat & @Idaho Spud - as your punishment for liking my lyrics, I offer my favorite Xmas carol. Yes I know it's a bit early, but sounds like you need some milk in your mammaries

GOD REST YE, MERRY GENTLEMEN

words: anon

music: trad melody, aeolian mode

first known version c.1760

updated lyrics by D J Lowe

Good ladies, merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ your savior
Is nothing but hearsay
He saved us all from Satan's power?
 - Your brains have gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy
Oh boy, oh boy
O tidings of comfort and joy

 Three wise men came to Bethlehem
 Or some such barleycorn
 And found him in a manger
Upon a chilly morn
His mother Mary popped him out
 Before the break of dawn
O tidings of comfort and joy
 Oy oy oy oy
O tidings of comfort and joy                 

From the alleged father
They say an angel came
To fill the heads of shepherd boys
With twaddle just the same
How he in Bethlehem was born
Of virgin Mom they claim
 O tidings of comfort and joy,
 O vey, o voy
 O tidings of comfort and joy

 'I kid you not' the angel said.
'You wanna pick a fight?
His mother is as pure as snow
Drilled with a shaft of light
It entered in her fertile womb
While she stayed dry and tight'
O tidings of comfort and joy
No saveloy
 O tidings of comfort and joy

They laughed for all they're worth
And left their sheep out in the fields
 To see this dubious birth
They checked out Mary that same day
Wine, frankincense and mirth
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Her did annoy
 O tidings of comfort and joy

And when they came to Bethlehem  
Where this rare freak did lay                       
 They found him in the manger

Where oxen feed on hay
His mother Mary fibbed of how she
got in family way
O tidings of comfort and joy,
O what a ploy
O tidings of comfort and joy

The Bible sore amazes
All of us within this place
There's lots more crap where that came from
To send you off your face
So people, use your common sense
Examine every case
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Myth to destroy
O tidings of comfort and joy

Comment by Tony Carroll on August 21, 2012 at 10:31pm

Hahahaha!! Made me laugh, sk8eycat. Gonna keep this one too. Thanks for the laugh.

Comment by sk8eycat on August 21, 2012 at 10:26pm

Tony, I joined the Neptune Society years ago, and I'm all paid up, so I guess my ashes will be phish phood.  I'm 72 now, and the idea of silly-ass medical students playing practical jokes with my saggy dead tits was was/is a bit much, so I opted for the ocean.  My parents' remains are floating around there somewhere, so...why not?

In the meantime:

Jebus kitteh getz down wit hiz bad self!

Comment by Tony Carroll on August 21, 2012 at 8:07pm

sk8eycat, I have left instructions for "Look on the Bright Side of Life" to be played at the end of my memorial service (I plan on donating my body. Baring that, I have opted for a natural burial). Leave 'em with a smile!!! LOL

Comment by Idaho Spud on August 21, 2012 at 6:35pm

David, I like the new lyrics.

Comment by Idaho Spud on August 21, 2012 at 6:31pm

That's a great rapture form card, Glen.  Had to save it.

Comment by Glen Alan Dark on August 21, 2012 at 6:26pm

Comment by sk8eycat on August 21, 2012 at 9:35am

Sensei:  LOL and *snerk!*  Thank you, I needed that this morning.

PS: Did everybody else get a good giggle when Eric Idle sang "Look On the Bright Side of Life" during the Olympic closing ceremonies?  Didja wonder how many people around the world actually got the crucifiction reference?

Comment by David Sensei on August 21, 2012 at 5:24am

Being a non-believer doesn't need to stop you from enjoying the old hymns and inspirational songs. Here's an old favorite, If you know it, sing along.

I BELIEVE
Recorded by Elvis Presley (among others)
Written by Ervin Drake, Irvin Grahm, Jimmy Shirl, Al Stillman
Alternative lyrics by David Lowe


I believe that every drop of rain that falls is H2O
I believe that even in the darkest night, my urges grow
I believe for everyone who wants to lay
There's always some who will be gay
I believe I believe

I believe that every single prayer we send will not be heard
I believe that all the solid food we eat, brings forth a turd
Every time I hear a fiery preacher lie
Or watch him try to say pigs fly
Then I deny that I believe

Comment by Andrew Hall on August 19, 2012 at 6:52pm

See, that was supposed to say I made a bunch of other memes about the ongoing conflict between atheists.

 

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