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Comment by The Flying Atheist on April 16, 2012 at 8:30pm

Comment by AtheistTech on April 16, 2012 at 6:02pm

Quick question: Why are 99% of the pictures of religious people are pictures of people mourning?

Comment by Andrew Hall on April 16, 2012 at 7:22am

The God particle has been discovered.

Really.

Comment by Sandi on April 16, 2012 at 6:27am

Finally, something to actually thank Jebus for.....

Comment by Tommy on April 15, 2012 at 8:28pm

Comment by rockytij on April 15, 2012 at 6:13pm

@Patricia

Gut-busting funny!!!

Comment by Patricia on April 15, 2012 at 5:30pm

A golfer in Ireland hit a bad hook into the woods.  Looking for the ball, he discovered a Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head, and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer took his water bottle from his belt and poured it over the little green guy, reviving him.
"Arrgh! Wha happen?" the leprechaun says. "Oh, I see. Waal, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes. Whaddya want?"
"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm glad you're okay, and I apologize. I didn't mean to hit you." And the golfer walks off.
"What a nice guy," the leprechaun says to himself.  "But it was fair and square that he got me, and I have to do something for him.! I'll give him three things I would want  a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."
A year goes by (as it does in jokes like this) and the golfer is back, hits another bad ball into the woods and finds the leprechaun waiting for him.
"'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I wanted to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"
"That's the first bad ball I've hit in a year! I'm a famous international golfer now," the golfer answers. "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."
"Oh, I'm fine now, thankee. I did that fer yer golf game. And tell me, how's yer money?"
"Why, I win fortunes in golf. But if I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills all day long."
" I did that fer ye. And how's yer sex life?"
"The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "Errr, all right, I suppose."
"C'mon, c'mon now. I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a day?" Blushing even more, the golfer whispers, "Once -sometimes twice a week."
"What!" says the leprechaun in shock. "That's all?  Once or twice a week?"
"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."

Comment by sk8eycat on April 15, 2012 at 3:23pm

Lime Jell-O.

http://www.filk.com/filk101_b.htm

LIME JELLO: The story goes that one night at DISCON II, [see Westerfilk Page 60] a drunken pro (rumored to be Joe Haldeman) confided that the sexiest thing in the world was a bathtub full of Lime Jello; he made the mistake of saying this within earshot of friends (?). The next day he was kept away from his hotel room while every supermarket in town was scoured bare of lime gelatin. Legend does not report how this pro reacted to returning to a green quivering bathtub. A few songs were written about the incident. Since then, "Lime Jello" has been a fannish byword ** for everything sexy, erotic, or perverted, ** and can often provoke a laugh for no reason at all.

Comment by Chris Dodds on April 15, 2012 at 1:40pm

You know what I find harder to believe than religion, that Mormons aren't allowed to do drugs or alcohol.  With all the crazy shit they believe in, there's gotta be some drugs in there somewhere.

Comment by Sandi on April 15, 2012 at 6:51am

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