If you replaced your pacifier with the Bible, you might be a Christian.

If you think Fox News is balanced journalism, you might be a Christian.

I you have seen His holy likeness in a potato chip...

If you offer to pray for a friend rather than actually helping em...

If you've thought "Well that makes a lot of sense" while listening to Rush...

If you would rather your children live in guilt and shame because they are human...

If you respect someone with the nacissistic need to be worshiped...

 

 

Ahhh, mine suck. You guys give it a crack!

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Replies to This Discussion

None of this is REALLY funny.
If you are as dumb as a frog you certainly are a Xtian.
or French.

Just KIDDING. trying to lighten it up in here.
If you think hell is in the center of the Earth and Heaven is in the sky...

If you think black cats are evil...

If you pray through Halloween to protect yourself from demons...

If you honestly believe all the "religious" holidays you celebrate where not based on older traditions that existed before christianity....

If you spell god, God for your religion, but gods for all the other..

If you think cats are Satanic, but dogs are godly...

If you believe that snakes can talk...

If you believe that there were only Adam, Eve and their kids in the world, but have no explanation of how Cain ran off to a city...

If you enjoy telling little kids there is no Tooth Fairy, but believe in angels...

And last but not least...

if you took your kids to the creation museum in Kentucky so that they could learn some "real" history.
If you think there's a difference between natural selection and evolution, because you don't believe in evolution, but nobody can deny natural selection.

(THIS IS A REAL THING THAT A COMMENTER SAID ON MY JOURNAL)
If you tell someone they can change the TV channel to anything they want, EXCEPT horror or sci-fi shows, because those will let demons in the house. (I actually heard a xtian say this in all sincerity!)
the link doesn't show up because it brings up http://http//www.youtube.etc...
If you delete the http// then it works fine.
What I do is just copy the link, then when I post a comment, I click the link button and past the link in there. I've never had a problem that way. Are you doing something else?
If you can watch somebody speaking in tongues without calling an ambulance.
If you can watch Glenn Beck for more than 60 seconds. (kind of the same thing)
If you thought "The Exorcist" was a documentary.
If you think the dinosaurs are extinct because they were actually dragons and they all burned themselves to death.(I'm not making this one up, if this
target="_blank">link
doesn't work, visit my home page videos.)
Lol, when I was a kid, my parents made me watch a video about how dinosaurs were just big lizards - like literally, they were just big iguanas and things because before the water canopy came down, everything lived longer because there was less ozone in the air. And this was my science class!
It's sickening, isn't it, knowing what you know now, hearing crap like that.
As I was watching it, I was waiting for Jon Stewart or someone from SNL to show up and I'd find out it was a comedy sketch.
As it is the only reaction you can have is.....OMFG!, he isn't kidding!
If you care more about an unborn baby then a dead soldier, you might be a Christian...

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