If you replaced your pacifier with the Bible, you might be a Christian.

If you think Fox News is balanced journalism, you might be a Christian.

I you have seen His holy likeness in a potato chip...

If you offer to pray for a friend rather than actually helping em...

If you've thought "Well that makes a lot of sense" while listening to Rush...

If you would rather your children live in guilt and shame because they are human...

If you respect someone with the nacissistic need to be worshiped...

 

 

Ahhh, mine suck. You guys give it a crack!

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Replies to This Discussion

In western Colorado theres a federal highway dsignated as 666. Some fundi nuts protested to the government that the designation be changed; the locals organized and counter protested the fundis - the highway is still 666
Love it!
…if it occurs to you that your religion looks an awful lot like Santa Claus for grown-ups, but instead of quitting your religion, you just don’t teach your kids about Santa.

…if you know there is a sinner in your church service, but nobody comes down at the invitation, so you hold the congregation nearly an hour late with everyone praying for the lost sheep to be saved.

…or you let your congregation out early so you can beat the Methodists to Shoney’s.

…if you pray to three separate deities, each of which specializes in different issues and has distinctly different responsibilities, but you insist you are a monotheist.

…if you think being an atheist is worse than being a rapist, because the rapist can always marry the girl he raped and make everything ok, but the atheist commits the unforgivable sin of denying the Holy Spirit.

…if you support the death penalty for consensual sodomy and 'practicing homosexuals', but mandatory marriage for heterosexual rape.

…if you think everyone is equal in God’s eyes, but due to Ham’s sin, his descendants deserve to be punished by those descended from Shem and/or Japheth.

…if you are afraid of every website that asks for your email address, because they are gathering information about you for the atheists/Muslims/evolutionists who are plotting to take over all world governments.

…if every time your country elects a leader who is not from your political party, you firmly believe the guy is the Antichrist.

…if you believe the people who set up the UN were in league with Satan.

… if you refer to every person in your social circle as ‘Brother’ or ‘Sister’.

…if you refer to all but one Christian sect as “our separated (or lost) brothers and sisters.”

…if you think everything the country of Israel does is good and you should support them, because they are God’s Chosen People.

…if your most coveted achievement is to convert a Jew.

…if you believe God made the earth look old just to test your faith.

…if you laugh at the Muslims for believing Muhammed’s ridiculous claims that he was a messenger of God, but believe another guy who claimed to actually be God.

But you might not be a Christian if you get into a detailed debate over a point of Christian theology in a public place, and when members of a Christian organization overhear you and ask you to donate to their cause, you reply, “No thanks, I don’t support idol worship.”
It's common for Christians to support marriage for rapists and victims??
I've heard that, but assumed it a wives-tale. I have heard the old adage that there is no such thing as rape once you're married though (as in by your hubby).
Not sure how prevalent it is, but in my family and the ones we were allowed to socialize with (all extreme fundamentalists), that's what we were taught. It's commanded in Deuteronomy 22:28-29. And yes, it really does happen, I actually know a girl who married a guy she didn't like for that reason.
I'm not sure which I'd choose, marry the man who raped me and presumably suffer a lifetime of church sanctioned rape and other violence, or be stoned to death for not screaming loud enough when he raped me in the first place (or rather not being heard/responded to when I was screaming.....or for having my mouth covered while I was being raped).......

Religion really doesn't *get* rape does it.
Well Limber, ya gotta consider, maybe she/you was "asking for it"!!
Bronze age primatives made this stuff up, and they were women hating dudes. (alright, maybe they didnt hate them, but they aknowledged them only as property) Im just a dumb ape and I could make something up, on the spot, more egalitarian and with longer reaching flexibility than the crap that these clowns dished up as 'truth'.
Wow, Rebekah, I had to look at where you live and was sadly shocked that it is the U.S. I am aware that there are some extreme fundamentalist groups here, but this just seems so far removed from my daily life, even growing up in an Assembly of God church. It is so sad and I could not imagine it.
It rings a bell with me that this is in the OT but maybe its just a part of Islam.
Rebekah wrote: "…if you believe the people who set up the UN were in league with Satan."

No, they were in league with Marx and Lenin!!

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