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Top Ten Reasons its good to be an Atheist

I've been watching too much Letterman lately, so I've put togther a Top Ten List; Top ten reasons its good to be an Atheist. So bear with me, here we go:

10. We can sleep in on Sundays

9. We don't have to spend an hour out of our weekend sitting on a cramped wooden bench in a stuffy room with about 100 other people

8. We have better sex lives since we can do it outside of marriage and no positions are off limits

7. We can eat and drink whatever the hell we want

6. If someone asks what we yell out in bed, we can just say, "Ask your wife"

5. It's amazing how much you save on gas when you don't have to got church once a week for an hour and then wait in the parking lot another hour to get out.

4. Three words: WE GOT POTTER!

3. Our copies of the bible serve multiple purposes (I've used bibles to prop up the kitchen table, as a coaster, when I'm out of toilet paper, etc.)

2. The money we save by not putting it in the collection plate can go to pimping our rides

1. We're smarter and we tend to be right

Tags: atheist, humor, top ten

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Paula T. on June 22, 2012 at 9:59pm

How about -

13) The incredible feeling of liberation when one finally sees the light of reason (for those of who experienced indoctrination and escaped).

Permalink Reply by Paula T. on June 22, 2012 at 10:04pm

Ok, silly me *blush* I just remembered this is a humor thread and my suggestion isn't humorous...but still true :P

Permalink Reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on July 13, 2012 at 1:48pm

I only have 3 to suggest.

We can trust our own moral judgment.
Not buying life after death in a secret magical place helps us appreciate actual life as salient, vivid and precious.
Egalitarian respect for all of humanity is so much easier without that crap about being special to a supernatural being.

Permalink Reply by amber mullins on August 6, 2012 at 1:09pm

very funny and i love #1..havent people realized that some of the most brilliant minds in history were atheist??

Permalink Reply by Napoleon Bonaparte on August 6, 2012 at 1:22pm

Yeh, I read it all and had a few chuckles but it was not worthwhile considering the time and energy I invested in it.

Ich bin nicht amüsiert

Permalink Reply by Skeptical Deb on August 6, 2012 at 3:41pm

Probably my number one reason: I don't have to be embarrassed trying to defend ridiculous absurdities (or talk in circles)! Or, as some would claim, I'm a mean-spirited party-pooper who enjoys bursting people's bubbles by having the nerve to actually tell them that Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, leprechauns, Martians, god/Jesus/Holy Ghost, etc., are all fake!

Permalink Reply by Ant Mac on September 11, 2012 at 12:25am

I got one to add to the list.

At popular fishing spots, on religious "high days" we don't have to share the anchorage with a lot of religous blokes. They are all in church, looking out the window, thinking "I would rather be fishing".

Permalink Reply by Tedster on October 9, 2012 at 4:31am