With an enormous tip of the hat to Heywood Banks, writer and performer of the original Big Butter Jesus song, I submit my sequel to it (sung to the same tune):

Big Butter Jesus
Got hit by lightning
With a roar of thunder
That was downright frightening.
Seem like the Almighty
Burned the sucker to the ground
When the sun rose next day
Only ashes could be found.

Chorus:
Big Butter Jesus
Fireball Jesus
Thunderstruck Jesus
Ungrounded Jesus
Pyrotechnic Jesus
Inflammable Jesus
Ironic Jesus
Incendiary Lord

With his eyes cast upward
Looking like he was forsaken
Thought that he would last for decades
Seems that we were all mistaken
It took weeks of work to build him
With his hands raised in the air
But when the lightning hit him
Jesus didn't have a prayer

Chorus

It cost a quarter million dollars
When the first one was constructed
Seems that it was wasted
When Jesus self destructed
Now they plan to build another
Looks like some folks never learn
But the church has millions
So they've got the cash to burn

Chorus