"My Encounter with An Athiest" by God

 

I met an atheist one day, and he looked up at me and stared into my eyes. "Who are you, and where the hell am I?" I replied, "I AM GOD! Welcome to Heaven." His eyes widen, as he looked around and realized he was walking on a cloud. "Ah crap, there really is a God! Wait, aren't I supposed to be in Hell?" I laughed a great roar. "HAHAHAHA! ON THE CONTRARY! ALL ATHIEST GO TO HEAVEN! ONLY FAITHFUL CHRISTIANS AND THE OCCASIONAL HINDU ARE DAMNED TO HELL FROM THE START!" He looked confused. "Uhhhh........whaaa....?" "WELL, YOU SEE, CHRISTIANS GOT IT ALL WRONG. THERE REALLY ISN'T AN ALL POWERFULL BEING, AND THERE REALLY ISN'T A HEAVEN OR HELL. MY NAME IS ACTUALLY Andrew, and I'm just some average guy. You aren't really walking on a cloud now, those damn Christians just drugged you." "Oh. Okay, dude. Cya later." He walked away from the Christian Cult Building and almost collapsed in the middle of the street. "Those damn Christians" I said to myself. My own creations were drugging the atheists! If only I could go back and stop myself from writing the Bible.........

 

 

 

Tags: atheist, funny, god, heaven

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Replies to This Discussion

That was definitely an interesting take on what a god would say to an Atheist haha
Reminds me of my favorite answer to Pascal's Wager:

What if there is a god, but only people that believe in things based on reason and rationality go to heaven and all people who rely on faith go to hell?
This reminds me that in Islam, Faith is not a blind leap or a hoping against hope. Faith is based on rational intelligence, the highest form of knowledge. Human beings are not “compelled” to believe in the Qur’an. But for those who study, reflect, and meditate on its message, Allah will lead them into all truth.
“Many Christians think that anyone who walked away from the faith probably never really considered it seriously in the first place. It is just too problematic for the Christian to think that God will ever condemn an atheist to hell if he or she honestly could not find the reasons to believe. That’s just unfair, they think, so they conclude atheists must be in rebellion against God, and/or mentally deficient. Former Christians who claim to have left the faith were either never well rooted in the first place, or deep down inside they still believe.

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