Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Medusa on June 7, 2009 at 11:02am

My cats are my _friends_, not my children! I totally agree with you; I am _not_ my cats' "mommy."

Yeah, that "Rainbow Bridge" garbage also bugs me. After my cats die, they're gone. Same thing applies to me; I don't believe in an afterlife for myself, either. I am an atheist after all.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on June 9, 2009 at 1:35pm

When I die, I'd be happy if whatever nutritive value left in my body goes toward pushing up catnip.

Permalink Reply by Kitty on June 7, 2009 at 4:32pm

Well said!
(although I must point out the vagina/pussy irony)
The rainbow bridge poem is like so much religious pablum, and it's annoying. Just another way of denying reality.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on June 9, 2009 at 1:59pm

(although I must point out the vagina/pussy irony)

My subtlety is ruined! Ruined, I say!

Permalink Reply by Lisa Hamilton on June 8, 2009 at 3:59pm

I've also been quite annoyed by the 'rainbow bridge'. I lost my dear Creature Man on May 26th. He was 14. Pushy people have told me how my cat is now playing with their cat on the other side of the rainbow bridge. I don't want to push back because they're speaking of their own grief. One lady went so far as to say, "I'm praying you pass through this with as little pain as possible." I spoke up. People who know I'm atheist have made comments and watched me intently for signs my beliefs have changed. I have his ashes in an urn, but beyond that he's gone. Why would I believe otherwise?

I refer to them as my kids sometimes, though. More to push into someone's head how important my cats are to me. Nearly 5 years ago I came home to find one had died in a horrible accident. I lost a job because of the grief. I called out two days. "It's just a cat." Whatever. "How would you like to come home and find your son _____." When that freak tornado hit downtown Atlanta a few years ago I remember hoping their office was destroyed. (The office was next door to the Westin Hotel which was on the news.) They showed a file room with papers everywhere and everything soaked. It looked like theirs. I don't normally wish for bad things to happen to people. That's not me. That said, I still really hope that was their office.
Idiots.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on June 9, 2009 at 2:17pm

Creature Man is a wonderful name.

I do make an effort not to cause further pain, but there are times my tongue slips its moorings. I'm working on being more pro-active than re-active. So, I appreciate what you said about not wanting to push back because they're speaking of their own grief.

What has irritated me about people calling the resident felines my "kids" or "babies" is that most of these people are gender essentialists, and think that women, by virtue of biology, must have children. I've had more than one person assure me that the fab furries are child substitutes. Neither gata has asked for a tattoo or multiple piercings, so that blows that argument right out of the water.

However... I'm glad you posted your perspective, as I'd never thought of referring to felines as kids as a way to reinforce how important they are in someone's life. I was too busy being pissed off to think that it could actually be a good thing.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on June 9, 2009 at 2:33pm

I don't think my cats would mind if I carried them over, bribing them with treats as we go.

Your comment got me searching. I remember the Rainbow Bridge from Norse Mythology, but I didn't think it applied here because cats don't much resemble Norse gods, or Vikings.

Okay, maybe I was wrong.

Maybe this site is where the connection between a rainbow bridge and pets is where it all got started.

Permalink Reply by Kylyssa Shay on June 22, 2009 at 7:47pm

My cats have never been my babies - they are my owners! I refer to myself as my cat's primary slave. My partner and our roommate are his tertiary slaves as I am tertiary slave to my roommate's cats.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on June 22, 2009 at 10:28pm

Heh. I often refer to myself as being cat-owned.

Permalink Reply by SecularHumanBN on October 17, 2009 at 7:43pm

My heart is in pain right now, because I had to say goodbye to one of my two sweet little kitties just yesterday. :( I miss her so much and so does her "sister". I never had children, so I do call my cats "my babies". It doesn't matter what you call them....they are still a member of your "family". I maintain my house for the comfort of my kittehs. I'm not into that whole Rainbow Bridge thing either. Sorry, I seem to be just rambling....it's hard to type with tears welled up in your eyes. :(

I love you sweet Emily Pearl!!!!

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on October 19, 2009 at 11:29pm

I'm so sorry to hear this, SecularHumanBN. Feel free to ramble on. Do you have a photo of Emily Pearl you could post?

Permalink Reply by Catdoc on October 25, 2009 at 9:30pm

I have to chime in on this thread. I deal with pets dying regularly in my profession, indeed I have sent many many of them on their way. It's a sad part of the job, and it's something of a learned art to deal with the grieving pet owners. I have to say that I rarely see a person really act as if it is their child passing away, although there have been a few that came awfully close. Anyone who has ever lost a real child would know that losing even a much loved and irreplaceable pet pales in comparison. I love my cats, and especially miss one (Little Bear, AKA Bear-Bear) that I lost a few years back unexpectedly, but I have a daughter, and I often try to imagine how devastating it would be to lose her. No, I would rather lose anything else in the world, even my own life, rather than face the emotional reaction of losing my child. Only people who have no children could fail to understand that particular dread.

I do usually refer to my clients as the parents in some fashion, usually in a phrase such as "just look at Daddy while I give you this shot", or "don't worry, Mama's not going anywhere". These little murmurings are to soothe both pet and client, and as far as the pet is concerned, I could be speaking gibberish as long as I use a soothing voice and tone. Most people understand it's a little game, and play along willingly, even big, bad, tattooed biker dudes that bring in a big, intact male pit bull (or occasionally little toy poodles). Cat people more than anyone love to play this game, but I have never ever heard anyone say "mommy's wittle fwuffikins". Maybe they do this in the privacy of home.

Oh, and the Rainbow Bridge thing. Yeah, it's totally ridiculous, but people love it. I hope I don't offend people, but I confess that I often include a little copy of the poem with sympathy cards. Maybe by now everyone in the world has seen it before, but countless people have thanked me for the sentiment. I think folks understand the intent, and appreciate the harmless fantasy. I wonder if anyone really takes it seriously?

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