Sometimes I worry that the pressure of living with an unbeliever might push my wife deeper into religion. That's probably a big worry that we all have.

What do you think your partner worries about?
That sin will completely dominate you?
That you'll run off with another unbeliever?

what do you think?

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Replies to This Discussion

Good topic. Thank you for posting it!!!

My fiancee has voiced her fear in the past that I will find an atheist and run off with her because of our differing views on religion. But I think she has mostly gotten over that by now.

I think her biggest fear is that our children wil be atheist. Of course, I can't alleviate that fear, because I hope they will. How can I not? I don't want my daughter to live her life in fear of an invisible dictator ready to take her out at a moment's notice for some perceived sin.
Yes, I can see how that might be a big deal. When I became an atheist, my oldest daughter was 3 yrs and my youngest was 3 months. They were taken to church every week and I didn't protest, criticize or question anything. If my wife changed religions, then I might have felt free to complain, but since I was the one that changed, I had to keep quiet. I didn't hide my atheism at all when the kids were growing up. Recently I found out that some church members convinced my youngest that she would be able to pray me into the kingdom - that turned into a bit of a guilt trip for her. Both were baptized. Both began to see problems with faith and then fell away. One is comfortable calling herself an atheist and the other is just as secular but doesn't ever use the term "atheist". I'm sure it makes my wife feel horrible at times. But I'm sure she doesn't blame me for undermining her efforts - I never said anything negative about faith while they were growing up. I think that just having an atheist in the family got them thinking about things that other kids never have to think about.
I am actually the one in our family who likes to go to church. there is a UU church about 15-20 minutes away I like to go to whenever possible. My fiancee likes to sleep in on Sundays, though. I don't like to go without my family, so I usually just stay home.

Right now though, we don't really have an option, however. We don't have a vehicle right now, so we are dependent upon others for transportation.
That's hilarious that you're the only one who likes to go to church - - but don't tell the future Mrs.Byron that I said it :)

Mrs.Mark loves church.
I don't think I'd like UU too much, but I'm seriously hard-headed.
They don't push anything on you, and actually encourage discussion and differing viewpoints. you may actually like it...
Before I left Houston, about 17 years ago, I visited a UU church and enjoyed it. I was impressed enough to suggest it as a compromise church that my wife and I could both attend. That got shot down very quickly.
Then when I joined the Humanists, most of the other folks were members of the UU church where we met.
The only churches that I ever went to that creeped me out were the ones that had a pet doctrine that they felt was all important. The right kind of baptism. The right eschatology. The right practice of "spiritual gifts". - of course, those are NOT UU churches that do that kind of stuff.
I went to UU church as a kid and adolescent. I sang in choir and those church ladies were awesome. I miss them and go to events sometimes, but going to church? I figure why should I wake up early when I don't even believe in God?

Also, sometimes people tend to over-discuss things and argue too much over details. It kind of gives me a headache. This is why I don't get involved in large groups too much.

I do think being UU, as well as parents dabbling in other religions here and there, made it very hard for me to truly believe any one religion was the right one. And if a person doesn't really believe in their religion, what's the point? So it was instrumental in my becoming atheist.
"I think that just having an atheist in the family got them thinking about things that other kids never have to think about." I hope this happens in my family too. I really don't want my kids living a life in fear of a judgemental king whos ready to toss the book at them for the slightest offense. But, if the decide to be religious, I will stand behind them 100% and love them no less than I do now.
My partner is worried that I'm not going to be there when she goes to heaven. Most of the time it makes no real difference to our relationship.
I don't think my spouse worries about a damn thing. He has no concern over my atheism. I can picture him saying "who has time to worry about that?" He's such a chilled, happy-go-lucky kind of person. Lucky him!

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