Free Speech Atheists

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Comment by Reverend AtheiStar on June 19, 2009 at 11:42pm

Justin,

I'm glad I could sway you against it. It's really the only consolation I have now. I can't undo the past. If I could, I'd be there, in a heartbeat ,saying "No, I'm not sure. In fact, I'm leaving right now." I can be happy about not being as bad as all the other sufferers, but I can never unmake my mistake. All I can do is help other people to see the truth before it's too late.

It's a chance, yes, and most guys make it out fine, but are you will to take it with your testicles, seriously? I mean, you have no idea how much love you have for your body parts until they are filled with pain and all you held dear is thrown away. And what's worse, is that while you may be able to partial blame on ceryain people, who said yes? Who signed the paers? Who swiped his card? In my case, all those would be me. And I can never, ever take it back no matter how many sighs I make or tears I cry. What's done is done -- so you better be DEAD sure!

Comment by Alex Donovan on June 19, 2009 at 8:07pm

Hi Jacqueline-
I doubt if half of them know who Custer was. They probably think he invented lemon pie.

Comment by Justin Pearson Smith on June 19, 2009 at 7:48pm

Getting a vasectomy was something that has been discussed between myself and my wife for some time now but after reading about Reverend AtheiStar's experience, I've been turned right off. I can think of at least one rather nasty blow to the groin and if that could lead me to similar complications then I'm out. Thanks for letting me know that there are risks involved.

Comment by Gecko, Seth...brother of Richie! on June 19, 2009 at 6:22pm

Welcome Alex!

Comment by Alex Donovan on June 19, 2009 at 3:55pm

Thanks, Stephen. I'll hopefully have video up by tomorrow afternoon.

Comment by Stephen Goldin on June 19, 2009 at 3:39pm

Best of luck, Alex. Don't let the yahoos intimidate you! I'll be therein spirit.

Comment by Alex Donovan on June 19, 2009 at 3:34pm

Speaking of free speech...
My family and I will be marching in the first ever South Carolina Gay Pride Parade. There are about three dozen marchers, and a couple hundred protesters have already applied for protest permits.

Comment by Gecko, Seth...brother of Richie! on June 19, 2009 at 2:42pm

Hey folks !! Can we take into a discussion forum, like ooo I dunno, "Comment by Jacqueline Sarah Homan 4 hours ago". Thank you very kindly:-)

Comment by Reverend AtheiStar on June 19, 2009 at 11:04am

Here's the my introductory story that I wrote for the Vasectomy Pain group a little over a month ago:

It was supposed to be a simple procedure. There was supposed to be hardly any pain, and recovery was supposed to be short. Ejaculation and orgasm weren't supposed to change, at all. My brother had it done. An iced bag of peas and he was fine. A boss of mine at a previous job had it done. No problem! The doctor assured me that it was simple, too. I just cut these two tubes and tie them off. No biggie! Even so, I had read in the pamphlet that one side effect was aching testicles for years. That scared me. An occasional ache was bad enough, but years? That sounded like torture!

But my wife and my father persisted with the pressure. She said if I didn't get it done then she would. That scared me, too, as I had heard how much more invasive that operation was. If something happened to her I would have never forgave myself. Not to mention the fact that our third pregnancy had been rather complicated. She had originally had twins, but one died early on. We didn't have confirmation of this until our newest was born -- with an accompanying empty bag. In addition to this, she bled very heavy during the birth, so much so that they kept putting these large pads down to soak it all up! So much so that she was cold because of it! At any rate, I didn't want to lose my wife just because I couldn't find the balls to get snipped.

So, my wife submitted my name and info to a local, high rated doctor who had been doing vasectomies for over 30 years. I was to be in excellent hands. His office called and I went in, very nervous. He checked me out , explained what he was going to do, what drugs he was going to give me (xanax & oxycodone before and hydromorphone & amoxycillin afterward) and asked if I was sure if I wanted this. Trying to sound brave, but feeling terrified, I answered "yeah."

It was the 13th of February, 2008 and I was running late to my surgery. I popped my pills and my wife drove me over there. I was still nervous, but better as the drugs were starting to work their magic. After a short while I was called in and motioned to take my clothes off, put on the paper gown and lay down on the table. The nurse swapped me down with an industrial version of iodine and then taped my penis up onto my belly. The doctor came in and he told me to put my feet in the stirrups. He then gave me a local and made a joke as he cupped my testicles, "I've got you by the balls." I managed to let out a nervous chuckle. It still hurt and I felt a lot of pressure through the drugs, but I kept telling myself that this was a "simple procedure" and that I've have plenty of time off from work -- and that I'd get to have condomless sex forever after this!

The surgery started to not go so well from the beginning. He said that I was bleeding everywhere he touched me and sounded very concerned. Then he asked a strange question. He asked if I had been kicked in the balls a lot. Hmmm, no more than any other guy, I supposed. There was apparently heavy scarring down there. I had no idea. He struggled for a while, but finally he was finished. He told me that I was the second hardest surgery he had every done! At the time, that sounded cool to me, but it was to be a harbinger of things to come.

The recovery period -- when I had ample drugs -- was actually pretty fun. I got to take synthetic morphine every four hours! I felt nothing when it was working. When it started to wear off and the pain would start to rise up, I'd just take another one. It made me sleepy, too, so I napped often and was treated like royalty! It was great. Physically, though, I could see that something was wrong. My balls were the size of a horse's! They were huge and hard and sleeping was uncomfortable no matter what position I was in. A week later I tried having sex and ejaculation hurt tremendously! The orgasm was very subdued, too -- nothing like what it was -- and I felt pressure that just couldn't be relieved. I was also having trouble urinating for some time, much like I imagine has a swollen prostate feels like (which is probably what it was). The stream was a lot smaller and sometimes it just trickled out. About three weeks later, after the swelling had gone down, I started to notice that the veins on my testicles were enlarging at a constant rate. My balls looked like they were striped purple. The pain was still really bad, too. The veins and the pain got so bad that I had to call out of work. I could barely walk. I called the Dr. for an emergency appointment.

He said that I had an infection, epididymitis, that the veins were varicose and that I had a sperm granuloma on one side. He prescribed antibiotics and the pain subsided, but never truly went away. That was my first infection. My balls still would ache after this, just not so intensely. He said to take lots of ibuprofen and it should go away in no time. It didn't. It got worse to the point of thick, swollen veins that started to extend to my penis. By mid-December started to feel an itching/burning sensation right behind the head of my penis on the top side, that would get worse after sex. I thought maybe it was a yeast infection and so sprayed it down with some Micatin. It seemed to help, but it didn't go away. I noticed also that there was a large purple vein on the left side, an enlarged capillary that was very dark and had a bulge in it towrd the bottom. Above this was where the biggest pain was. Here, where I had earlier felt the burning, was a big swollen vein that was puffed out.

I did some reading on the internet and people were talking about blood clot of the penis. That must be it! Would a reversal cure this? I didn't know, but we had tax money coming up soon and I figured it couldn't be that expensive, right? I had seen quotes of as low as $4,000. That was high, but we usually get a lot back for tax season and so I figured it'd be easy. Boy, was I ever wrong! When my follow up appointment with my doctor finally came he told me that it'd be $10,000 and I'd need $5,000 up front! He also told me that he had never heard of getting a reversal for pain! He was a big time skeptic. When he looked at my penis and saw the swollen vein he said, rather uninterestedly, "It's a vein." Yeah, no shit! I knew that. Why was I paying this guy $80?!!! He said that it wasn't thrombosed, but that it felt a bit hard. He talked about the option of cutting it out or trying to remove the granuloma -- which were both covered by insurance, unlike the reversal. No thanks, if I was going to get my balls cut open, again, it was only going to be for an operation that would undo this horrible, life-scarring mess. He ended up prescribing more antibiotics and some high dosage naproxen sodium, or Alleve. This did help for the time that I was on it and I was quite pleased. But then it ran out.

Frustrated with that asshole of a doctor, who treated me like a small boy and held my balls like it was some kind of man show of how strong his grip was, I decided to go to my Dad's doctor. He was awesome -- brilliant and kind, the way a doctor should be. He cured me with the bleeding granuloma I had in my belly button and when I was nearly dead from pneumonia. For him I waited an entire month, until the 1st of April. He looked at my problem and said that he was unimpressed and confused as to why I was in so much pain. He said he had seen a lot worse and suggested, because of a history of spider veins, that I was predisposed to problems like this. A very good point, actually, one that should have been asked about before the surgery by the other doctor! He gave me an anti-inflammatory opiate known by the name of Tramadol. Wow, was that stuff ever wonderful! It gave me energy beyond belief and I was completely pain free everywhere! My penis and testicles didn't hurt, my back didn't hurt, my feet, my anything. I felt young, again -- a sad fact considering I'm 32.

During the month I was on these pills I could scarcely remember that I even had a problem, aside from what I could see on my penis. The extra, swollen veins that were all over by then, just didn't matter. They were ugly, yeah, but acceptable because I just couldn't feel them! I wished my prescription would never end. But it did and so did my insurance. I had to cancel it as it was just too expensive. I couldn't afford my copays and so it was pointless. I was starting to have big trouble, too, making essential bills like rent and electricity. It had to end. It was probably a good thing, too, as the doc told me that this drug, being an opiate and all, was addictive. That's all I needed, another addiction!

So, here I am today with just ibuprofen, naproxen, acetaminophen and my trust ice packs. I already took one Alleve this morning and it's doing nothing. I've begun stacking it with Tylenol, but that makes me really sleepy and I have three kids and a crazy schedule so that just doesn't work. I find myself slipping deeper and deeper into depression, reliving that day on the table and hearing the doctor's voice echoing in my head. "Are you sure you want to do this?" "I've got you by the balls!" There's not a day and hardly a moment when it's not on my mind.

If only I could travel back in time! I would warn myself to follow what I felt, to trust my emotions. They were right! I had a dark, sinking feeling about it and really wanted to get out of it, but felt locked into the commitment. My dad was even paying for it all! My wife was so happy that I was getting it done! How could I disappoint everyone? I should've stood up and put my bravery where it should've been, protecting me, not giving in to other people's interests!

I just want everything to go back to the way it was on the morning of that day, back to the days when I had a big interest in sex. Now I feel less and less like having it because I'm constantly in pain there. I sometimes have problems with psychological impotence, too, as I just have so many negative emotions connected to my penis now. It's hard to get aroused when all you feel is depressed and angry. I kind of feel like I was castrated that day and that the balls I see are just an illusion, a twisted hallucination.

It does still work, though, when I can get around the usual problems. At least I have that. When I'm in a good mood or inebriated or pain free, or all three, I have no problem. It's just getting to that point, with this wreck of a penis I now own, that's the problem. I'm just not interested, most times. That, in itself, is depressing. I start thinking about divorce and my wife cheating on me and that makes me feel even worse. And really, who could blame her. My moods are very dark these days. She's noticed it and so have the children. I tend to lash out at them now -- and then feel guilty and depressed because of that!

I could easily slip into alcohol or drug abuse at this point. Anything to make the pain in my heart and everywhere else to stop torturing me day by day. Sometimes I think of suicide and find myself wanting to cry. Sometimes I break down when it gets bad enough. The last time it happened I was in my wife's arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

When my sister called, telling me about her husband's successful vasectomy I just couldn't stand it. How come it worked for him and not for me? It just felt so completely unfair. I actually felt rage toward her because of it. I didn't tell her that, though. I just talked about how this was an inhumane, barbaric and unnatural procedure and how it was really fucked up that doctors never really warn you about how bad it can be. I told her, too, that I was thinking about writing a book on the subject. A book that I would have loved to have seen before; book that would serve as a warning to the rest of the world's unsuspecting men. Don't do it! Don't do it! Sure, the chances are low that something will go wrong, but what if it's you? What if, after popping in the bullet and spinning the chamber, you pull the trigger and it goes off? What then? What kind of consolation will you feel when that “minority" is you?

Comment by Фелч Гроган on June 19, 2009 at 10:51am

Felch, you're a coward and an abusive misogynist prick who needs an attitude adjustment.

Baboons in cages hurl dung because they have nothing better. Accusations of misogeny are the pitiful wail of a professional victim who habitually retreats into victimhood because she can think of no other response. You quoted an outrageous statistical exaggeration. I called you on it and asked for your evidence. You respond with accusations, and falsely, state that I didn't believe that you were raped and just pretending. You are twisting things up however you please, because you have nothing else to back up your hysterical hyperbole.

And I provided the DOJ link in chat

Exactly the same link as used by WP. In fact every link is the same as the ones I found. Yet somehow, you are right and I am wrong.

1/1000 = 30%

and

pi = 3

You are trivialising the crime of rape by using it for cheap propaganda purposes. If anyone needs to apologise, it's you to the entire collective of rape victims who you choose to sully and misrepresent for your own shabby man-hating agenda. It's also known as misandry, just so you know, and no, you don't have a monopoly on suffering. Sucks doesn't it ?

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