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"Your choices to burn are on my lap."

In the past week I came out to my parents as an atheist. I accepted their shock, as I would be absolutely asinine not to expect it, but I was given a great ride. My father decided to inform me that god is real, and is a force to be reckoned with. I was told that I was going to burn in hell also.. My parents cry and cry because their wonderful, intelligent son is now possed by a demon and has died. That was difficult to swallow, I admit. But it gets better. My mom tells me that in order for my life to remain normal, and to never Go to church again, I must read the entire bible and give her a summary of each chapter. She told me that she would rather me die than have me torture her. Advice on what might correct her programmed and crazed mind?

Tags: Crazy, go, parents, psycho, wild

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Permalink Reply by Michael OL on February 19, 2012 at 7:38pm

Attentively and critically reading the bible is one of the surest routes towards confirming one's atheism. After all, disillusionment with the antics of preachers and congregations could be dismissed as human frailty interfering with god's message... but if you go straight to the source, study the source, and observe its contradictions and inanities, you have first-hand evidence to support your atheism. Besides, then you could engage with Christians in reasoned debate on their home turf.

Finally - and I mean this as serious advice, and not as facetious paradox - tell your parents that after much meditation, you've come to the faith that it was god's plan for you to become an atheist, as an example and a test for your parents. In the time that it takes them to unravel this mystery, you would be able to complete your biblical exegesis.

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Permalink Reply by Regina M on February 25, 2012 at 4:26pm

Secret Origins of the Bible by Tim Callahan http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Origins-Bible-Tim-Callahan/dp/09655047... is also a great book to reference for writing your essays. Also, there is a certain "know your enemy" advantage to having read the bible as a atheist. Someone will invariable say to you "well, if you'd just read the bible, you'll come back to jeebus" and you can say "I have read the bible, cover to cover, so there!"

Knowledge is power!

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Permalink Reply by dolo724 on February 26, 2012 at 1:22am

Go find the Brick Testament and remember that the serpent told the truth about the apple.

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Permalink Reply by Rusty on March 19, 2012 at 12:13pm

If you are going to read the bible, the first thing you have to be aware of is that there are a lot of half-truths in it. That is trickier than true or false. And, even the lexicons (dictionaries used to translate "original" manuscripts" that are used to translate the bible have been manipulated to support prophecy and religious viewpoints such as women not being able to teach. If it was poker, you would be playing with a stacked deck and a cheating dealer.

There is a book called "Re-Claiming the Bible for a Non-Religous World" by John Shelby Spong that might help. He is a former Episcopal priest. And, there are a number of books on bible myths and parallels in other religions. For example, the proverbs were actually written by an Egyptian Pharaoh and repackaged for the Hebrews. The story of David and Solomon is not original to the Hebrew culture but is actually from the earlier Canaanite culture. And, of course, the entire idea of a mother with an infant half-god is a complete parallel to the earlier Horus myths.

In an earlier life, I have actually taught bible classes and pretty much know where all the bodies are buried. So, if you want some help with something in particular, send me a message and I'll try to help you out.

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Permalink Reply by Victoria Vann on April 20, 2012 at 5:40pm

I know you directed this towards Tyler, but i would be interested in your knowledge about the Bible. I've been reading it on and off for a while but I've reached a point were I actually want to sit and read at least a page a day.