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Young people - Are you having children? Why or why not?

I get constantly pestered by my relatives and friends asking me when I'm going to have children. I explain to them that I don't want kids. This doesn't seem to satisfy their needs for an answer. I especially get protests from the religious majority in my life.

I don't want kids because of the lifestyle I live. I have freedom, financially and socially. I like high risk activities and I am planning on making the military a career when I go back in. I don't want my wife to have to explain where I went if anything happens to me while on tour or otherwise. I also believe that I'm a better "fake dad" to my nephews and nieces. It's kind of a convenience. Yes, I like taking them places and spending time with them, but when I don't or can't, I don't have to. There's no diaper changing, disciplinary action or fiscal challenges. Plus, the way this world is going, I feel I don't want to bring children into the mess we are leaving for them.

I'd be interested to know what other people think when it comes to children. Are you having them or have you decided you don't want them? Maybe you're holding off for some reason? For all intents and purposes, I'm just curious.

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Permalink Reply by Joseph Heston on July 10, 2012 at 6:57pm

Just be honest, and just say you don't want kids. I made that decision when I got a vasectomy. If I want kids in the future, I'll adopt. Besides, if anybody calls me selfish, first, I have a right to be selfish. Second, I would think genetic parents are selfish for bringing a child into this overpopulated world (no thanks to Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar) who may not have a better life (even with all of those degrees), and taking away from a child who is already here.

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Permalink Reply by Jessica Chen on July 25, 2012 at 10:04pm

I don't want children. I want to have a good career instead of dedicating my life to motherhood. and personally I find the idea of something growing inside me scary. not mention the pain and when I have to give birth...no. I will never have children.

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Permalink Reply by Nerdlass on July 26, 2012 at 1:14am

I would love to have children under the right circumstances. I'm 37 now, and those circumstances have never been right... Likely it won't happen at this point, but that's okay. I'm not going to bring a child into this world when I can't give him or her a stable home with at least one parent to be there when he or she comes home from school.

...So yeah, pretty much have accepted it's not happening.

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Permalink Reply by Stormi C. on September 15, 2012 at 7:16pm

I'm 15, so kids are definitely out of the question right now. And as much as I love kids, this planet and the other humans inhabiting it convinces me not to when I get older. Plus the fact that my generation is full of the dumbest people ever. I mean seriously. Don't get me wrong, there are some people that are okay. But the majority of the people in my generation are ignorant, and make me wonder how the sperm that made them won over all the others. It could just be the area where I live, since I live in the bible belt. But either way, I fear for my generation and the ones beneath me. Bringing a child into this world doesn't seem fair to that child.
Not to mention the fact that I'd have to give up my life to support theirs.

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Permalink Reply by Beth KZ on September 15, 2012 at 8:26pm

I've never had children and never will.

I can think of so many personal reasons for ME not to have children that it's not possible or a bad idea (babies are icky and seem sneaky, goofed-up hormones, internal injuries, growing up in an abusive home). I got a little older and I cannot justify adding even one more person to this overpopulated planet, which is getting more crises by the day, and more stacking up. In a world in about 2030, where there are 11-13 billion people, we're running out of oil, phosphorus, and clean, fresh water, leading to massive starvation - then combine all of that with climate change - I cannot imagine any justification for bringing even one more child into the world.

The notion of "replacement fertility" levels is bogus. That would only make sense if humans spawned then died like salmon do. Instead, the 2 children, their 2 parents, their 4 grandparents, and their 8 great grandparents are ALL alive on the earth at one time!

I had day-1 issues that would have made reproduction difficult, later issues that would have caused it to be unlikely to impossible, and made a decision when I was 22 to have a tubal ligation - and a doctor who would perform the surgery on an unmarried woman with no children who was so young. That is a decision that I get happier and happier that I made as I get older.

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Permalink Reply by Crazy Cat Lady on September 25, 2012 at 7:58pm

I am 42 and married and were not having any. Number one reason was I never had the desire really. I did not like dolls, I was not drawn to children. Even when I was young I preferred the company of adults, I did not like kids even when I was one. Maybe it came from being the youngest in a family when everyone else was years older than me. While I can handle kids for a little while, I am just not a kid person. Fortunately, my husband feels the same way and I think I told him by our third date that I did not want kids.

Other reasons include, financial; I was kinda a late bloomer and did not get my shit together until my late twenties. Then I had six years of University and I now have a ton student loans to pay back now.

I ALWAYS used birth control and I was also lucky never had a birth control failure, so I never had to make any decisions regarding that scenario. I feel lucky that I was born in a century that has allowed me to make this decision. I can't imagine what it was like 100 years ago for someone like me.

Now that I older I still feel that way, no regrets my feelings have never changed. Plus I am set in my ways now, old cats and tricks and all.

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Allan H. Clark on October 1, 2012 at 11:25am

I have three sons and I am glad I did have children. All three are married now. The two older sons have no children and one of them is sorry about it, the other is not. The youngest has two children with a third on the way. He is very happy with his life, but it is a great struggle for him.

The point is that there are many ways to live your life and they are all valid choices. The immense variety in nature is a clue to the immense possibilities in human life. Realizing your individuality is a thing you can do through not having children as well as through having children. Live life on your own terms and ignore the critics—it's the only way.