With all the hype around supposed 2012 "doomsday" theories that defy science, and of course the variations of religious end-time beliefs, I thought it might be fun to make a "create your own doomsday" post.
The idea is to be creative and come up with your own, original "prophecy" of how the end of the world could come about if your mind was the orchestrator of it all. Feel free to be as detailed or simple as you'd like, and obviously the nuttier and funnier the better :)
Here is mine:
In a few short years time, earthquakes and other natural disasters seem to occur closer and closer together, with increasing magnitudes. Science scrambles to explain the unpredictability of them, but all is cut short when the Earth, over a period of 36 hours, splits into several, smaller fragments that slowly drift apart from each other. Oceans start to boil, and a very large portion of life as we know it is eradicated from the drastic change in the environment. The Earth's core seems to erupt outwards from the center of the Pacific ocean, when it becomes apparent that something more than just fire and molten rock are emerging. Gigantic, flaming wings made of nuclear explosions appear and close down on to North America and Asia almost simultaneously, after which a huge dragon-like creature pops out, facing the sun and unintentionally destroying virtually all remaining life on the planet as the Earth's fragments drift further apart and off the course they had been on for billions of years.
This giant, flaming yet somehow conscious creature erupts with shockwaves of energy that pulse through the solar system, slightly disrupting the patterns of each of the other, "dead" planets, as it makes its way towards its mother, located at the center of the sun. There it will live and grow for several billion years, before splitting off into its own star as its mother "dies". In its infancy as a newborn star, it slowly takes over the solar system, using its sense of gravity to detect the proximity of nearby planets. Over the course of a few hundred thousand years, it hurls giant meteors with high concentrations of carbon (and other primitive elements) towards several of these planets, colliding with some and missing others, in a cosmic attempt to "fertilize" one of them and hope that earth-like conditions result from the collision. Unfortunately, due to the random and chaotic nature of the universe, no successful fertilization attempts are made, and over time, this new sun eventually dies out, eventually becoming nothing more than space dust. This finally puts everything into perspective for Nicholas Cage, who comes to the realization that his failed relationship with his ex-wife and daughter was only due to his own anger and alcohol issues. He learns to put the past behind him, and retires to Uranus, picking up astronomy as a hobby and spending the last of his days studying the remaining wonders of the great universe.