I am at the beginning of embracing my atheism and I'm about to marry this very passive Christian man. I believe our relationship is more important than our differences in religion but I'm always wondering, what do we teach our kids. So we have arguments, constructive most times, and he says this one thing that really upset me.

"...Atheists are all the same anyway..."

So, how do you feel?

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I would have him learn more about Atheists and Atheism before you get married.

Atheists are all the same with respect to their disbelief in God, but once you depart from that issue, they are as diverse as they can be. However, what kind of criticism is that? All those who believe 2+2 = 4 are the same as well.

That reminds me of a joke I read the other day in a book about macroeconomics. A mathematician, a statistician, and a macroeconomist are all being interviewed. They are asked the answer to 2 + 2. The mathematician says the answer is 4. The statistician says the answer on average is 4, plus or minus 20% deviation. The macroeconomist quietly closes the door, saddles up to the interviewer and whispers "what do you want it to equal?"

Funny how often I get told what the definition of an atheist is by obstinate theists. They really struggle with our true common denominator.

I would find it difficult to be in a relationship with a religious woman.

I've never been with anyone who believes in God, but a girlfriend of mine was heavily into the New Age type of spirituality. Reincarnation, healing with crystals, homeopathy and all that stuff. I found it very difficult to keep quiet, especially about the homeopathy. She once tried to treat our cat's 'depression' (i.e. being a lazy ass cat) with homeopathic drops. The problem was that she would begin to cry, become mad, and so on if I said something about any of her nonsense. So I felt I had to keep my mouth shut, because I didn't want to loose her. She was (and still is) a lovely girl in all other regards.

I would run, not walk, away from anyone who believed in supernatural powers of any kind. Some are calling religion a virus and I agree. It is an infection similar to airborne diseases that spread like wildfire and is a dickens to keep from destroying everything in which you believe. 

There are 7,224,213,500+ human beings on this planet and you don't have to settle for infected ones. 

Very well put Joan.  "you don't have to settle for infected ones."

Yikes, I wouldn't want to marry this guy... definitely discuss this in depth with him.

Well, you are committing to spend your life with this person. It seems to me that you would want to be comfortable that your views are going to be compatible enough to withstand any rocky situations you will inevitably encounter. For me, I knew that there was no way I would be able to be in a relationship with someone who was not an atheist. Only you can answer the question of how important it is for you.

Hope springs eternally.

Does anyone know who said or wrote that?

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never is, but always to be blessed:
The soul, uneasy and confined from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

– Alexander PopeAn Essay on Man

I would be very concerned about this.  I have known a lot of believers who discount atheists and our thinking by poisoning the well, i.e., deciding that we are just evil people, so whatever we say can be rejected out of hand.  They seem to think they know our motives, which I find irritating.  "Atheists are all the same," which I don't think refers to our lack of belief, seems to me like that same kind of "thinking."  When he dismisses atheists, he is dismissing you.  Proceed with caution?

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