Why God? Why!?

So my mom relapsed a while ago and I had to stay at my aunt's for a while. It was not great there, but it was not terrible either. Kids screaming everywhere and weird crap going on all the time, I just did not want to be there before summer got out so I was placed with my Christian step-father. I got to go to a school I went to earlier last year (Granite Falls High school) and things were good, until he asked me if I wanted to go to church. I told him yes just to get him off my back a little but my mistake. He began trying to get me to do a bunch of Christian stuff that I did not want to do.


Finally, I told him I was still Atheist (because he knew I was before) and he got angry. He gave me a long discussion on how it was disrespectful to go into a church being an Atheist and shut out everything they said. Which was totally not true! I tried my hardest to keep an opened mind, but I unintentionally kept contradicting what they were saying because it was too easy for me. So I kept going to that church service for their donuts. Finally I got sick and tired of them and just stopped going.


Then we lost that house. We had to move in with another Christian family (whose kids are even more annoying than my aunt's) and we're sleeping in the living room. Well, my step-father kept on saying, "Man, see what happens when you pray?"


At first I just nudged it off and continued on, but they are becoming more and more frequent. Now we want to move out of our friend's house because of the children and how dirty everything is all the time and my step-father is looking for houses. He found like, four but we still haven't moved. He keeps saying he's seeing houses for sale and that he is getting deals on houses in town and stuff but we still aren't moving.


I'm writing a book. It's not something my step-dad or my brother (who is also living with us) would enjoy. It's has nothing to do with Atheism or anything, I just don't think they would enjoy a Zombie book. Anyways, I've been trying to write at the house for two days but every time I do and my step-father catches me he makes me do something. It could be anything like, "Ty, take out the garbage real fast then fold all the clothes, then get dressed and go to bed."


I try to ask him if Brandon (my younger brother) could do something, like folding the clothes so I have time to write for a little bit and he gets angry and tells me that I just need to listen to him and not fight over chores. I wasn't fighting over chores, I just asked politely if I could write for a little, but whatever. I'd get up and do it then go to bed without getting a word down. I know he may not really be trying to make it so I can't write, but it feels like it. If I don't do something right when he asks he'll just stare at me until I get up to do it. Like last night, I was folding some clothes when he tells me to go brush my teeth and go to bed so I was finishing up my clothes and he stood at the foot of the stairs for the whole time and stared at me until I finally got up and saw him staring, then I asked him if he was watching me the whole time and he says, "That's not important, just go brush your teeth and go to bed."


I always feel awkward around him and when he tries to talk to me my heart leaps out of my chest. I don't want to live with him anymore and I wish my mom (who is doing better now) would hurry up and move down here so I can live with her. Holy crap I wrote a lot. Hopefully none of you get bored of it. I just needed to vent anyways so, yeah. If you made it down here than thanks for reading this giant wall of text that I have written.

 


Your Friend,

-Tyler James

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Permalink Reply by Robert A. Torti IV on October 18, 2011 at 7:50pm

Damn, my uncle is a dick. Always knew it though. Christians are the biggest hypocrites on the face of the planet. Besides, ask him about when he stole money out of my coin collection or when he stole mine and your grandpa's guns and took them to a pawn shop along with some of his coin collection.

 

Gold Viking coin dated 1112; worth about $90,000. He probably sold it for a few hundred.

Uncirculated Confederate $1 bills: Worth about $160.00 each. I had four and they were in tamper-proof glass cases.

Uncirculated 1930's $2 bills: I had 24, now I have none!

 

Next time he pisses you off throw that in his face and tell him he IS the true definition of a Christian then tell him "Gods are fragile beings, they can be snuffed out with science or a dose of common-sense."

Permalink Reply by Tyler James on October 18, 2011 at 8:34pm
Holy crap that is a lot of money. I don't think i'll throw that him because it sounds like your guys' problem but I won't be afraid to through that quote at him.
Permalink Reply by Robert A. Torti IV on October 19, 2011 at 12:50pm
Also let him know that if he believes in the whole Jesus thing then he believes in zombies. According to religion Jesus was crucified and then rose 3 days later from the dead. Does that not make him a zombie? Hopefully someday he'll realize that he don't need to be born-again when he can just grow up.
Permalink Reply by annet on October 18, 2011 at 8:23pm
Holy crud Tyler you are going through some tough times, yet you sound very well adjusted and are coping in positive ways like writing. Good job and keep on hanging in there.  I wish there was something I could say to help.  Are you able to keep your grades up? Maybe a scholarship could be a ticket to elsewhere when you graduate.
Permalink Reply by Tyler James on October 18, 2011 at 8:36pm
Well, last year I had almost all F's (but I didn't get held back) and I'm working on them so I have an average of C's or B's.
Permalink Reply by Matthew Shafer-Skelton on October 18, 2011 at 9:29pm
Why do you get Fs? How does a highschool not hold you back? That seems weird, not that I want you to get held back. If you are getting Fs it could be a serious symptom from depression and such stemming from christian pressure/oppression w/e. It could also just be moving around or being separated from your mother. Either way, its problematic. And for practical concerns, it lessens your ability to get away problems, home stuff, and also to go to places, like college where there is a larger atheist community. I would suggest trying to get placement elsewhere. Its too bad we don't have atheist placement type things that some religious groups have. It really sounds like you are in a place you need to get out of, whatever the reasons.
Permalink Reply by Robert A. Torti IV on October 19, 2011 at 12:51pm
Schools cannot hold you back if your parents say "absolutely not." It is ultimately up the the legal guardians.
Permalink Reply by Matthew Shafer-Skelton on October 19, 2011 at 1:28pm
This is understandable in middle school but in highly its a poorly conceived idea.
Permalink Reply by annet on October 18, 2011 at 11:21pm

Don't beat yourself up about the grades, you have a lot on your plate, just try to get them up as best you can. If you could really dive into studying and join some free clubs it could help.

Talk to your school counselor as often as possible. You should explain your situation to them. They can help you with financial aid and college applications. Focusing on the future might help you through this tough time.

It sounds like your step dad is at least trying, hopefully you feel safe with him.  

Permalink Reply by Tyler James on October 19, 2011 at 10:30am

I don't even like writing anything on the internet for the fear that he will read it. I am super paranoid about that and have to look over my shoulder when on Facebook or anything even when he is not home. I am planning to look for jobs because I just turned 16 on the 16th and I will not be able to get into clubs if I work. I want to do Baseball, but I do not know how my work and Baseball will work out together.

Permalink Reply by booklover on October 19, 2011 at 4:16pm
I'm so sorry for your situation!  I know it sucks being unable to be yourself and not living where you want to, and being a minor so you can't change how it is right now.   Borrowing the words from the campaign "It Gets Better", eventually it will get better for you as well.  Try to do well in school and maybe get some type of work (even off the books) and hide a little money if you can.  You will not always be in this situation.
Permalink Reply by Tyler James on October 19, 2011 at 5:22pm
Hopefully because if my life keeps going like this, I will probably end up doing bad things. I am writing a book and I'm going to keep the money for my mother and I. I could save up for my mother and I to move in together so I won't be in a household full of scrutinizing Christians.

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