This question was asked before by another member of Atheist Nexus who, unfortunately, left the site about 6 months ago. When he left, his discussions went with him. (I hate that about Ning.) That is too bad, really, because that topic received more responses than any other discussion thread on A|N that I have ever seen -- well over 400, I believe.

Well, I don't plan on leaving A|N anytime soon, so I'm going to ask that question all over again. We've had a lot of new members since the first time, so this will be a good chance for all the new faces, and some of the old, to vent once again about why they are single.

So, why are you single?

Tags: atheist singles, companionship, dating, lovers, partners, romance, single, singles

Views: 2260

Replies to This Discussion

I'm single because I have an inferiority complex. I used to be severely overweight and I still have a poor body image because of that. Also, I know that I'm pretty nerd even by nerd standards. I've only had two relationships that I would really consider close relationships, both of which ended badly; all the others were too short lived or there was little to know chemistry between us.

A lot of that feeds into my being single; I know it's mostly me handicapping myself and most if not all of it is irrational, but it forces me into a kind of shyness and timidness that makes it hard for me to meet women in general.
We could start a new group: Nerd Girls Who Think Jack Is Cute.

Hmmm...confusing. Sounds like you're responsible, outgoing, and fun. That should all work for you.
Trust issues, developed in X-relationships
I'm single for probably a lot of reasons. I grew up believing that dating was sinful and that it was inappropriate to have contact with boys. Even having a crush caused me to have massive guilt. I still carry a lot of baggage from those days. I'm also very shy and I don't really get out much. But I think the main reason is that I'm a big girl--over 6 feet tall with some extra "padding." I've come to the conclusion that guys tend to steer clear of the girls they could imagine in a wrestling ring. :P
It is sad that people raise their children under such repressive and anti-human circumstances. As far as being big, some guys really like that.
I worked with a woman once who swears she is going to write a book titled:
Stupid Shit People Say to me Because I'm Tall and Asian.
That sounds like it would be a freakin' awesome book!
Hmm.. After avoiding this topic for some time, I figured I might as well.
I suppose my main reason is pretty simple: high standards. In part, due to having had a fantastic relationship (that tragically ended for reasons I'm still not entirely sure of), in part quite a bit more intelligent (possibly hyper-intelligent, honestly more of a handicap than a blessing) and knowledgeable than most of my surroundings, and finally because I value aesthetics to an extent that not any girl that fulfils the other requirements would do, but she'd need to visually suit me as well.. Of course, the later isn't very absolute and not as important, but it's still a filter.. I figure this might come off as rather arrogant, but meh. So be it.
I also move in social circles that are not quite as common as the mainstream, although I suppose the concentrations of more-than-averagely intelligent individuals are somewhat higher in them, so from that perspective that's a good thing.
Oh, and I'm probably not assertive enough, though I'm working on that.
And then, of course, there's the all-dooming taken-part that's a killer.

All in all, in the past year or so, I've met only two people I could even imagine myself being with (which obviously doesn't even mean it would've actually worked out), with one of them not being single, the other giving somewhat mixed, confused/confusing signals. So. I don't know, maybe.
But then again, I guess I'm still young, etc. etc.. I just get lonely, I suppose.

In all fairness, I have my share of character flaws (cynicism, sarcasm [though not necessarily a flaw, not always appreciated, either], tendency to get overly attached, can be quite emotional, can be stone cold, misanthrope, the list goes on), but it usually doesn't even get the stage where those become quite apparent enough.

Perhaps I'm just being a bit of a spoiled jerk, though, considering one of the more recurring problems seems to still be religion, which hardly occurs here any more.

Methis, by fessing up about your "visual" standards you are displaying honesty, which is a trait far too uncommon in our society. My visual/physical standards determine the amount of sexual stimulation I experience. Intellect only gets me part way. I have had tons of great lovers with insufficient intellect to create a relationship to my satisfaction. I have had only 2-3 intellectuals who've allowed me sexual satisfaction, all the other intellectual potentials were sexual catastrophes.

I'm with you Danielle. 38, mother of two. Been separated for two years. Have plans to go back to school but am having to wait till the paperwork for the divorce is completed. Am making a stern promise not to be flattered by attention. To look REAL closely at whom ever I spend time with. I will not be pulled in again by somebody who's all flash and no substance. My friends tell me that they enjoy my intelligent meanderings when certain subjects come up. My positive attitude, etc. I don't expect to have too much difficulty finding somebody in the end. But I have other priorities right now. Dating is messy. And I don't need the challenge of managing another mess right now! :-) How ever welcome the distraction would be.


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