This question was asked before by another member of Atheist Nexus who, unfortunately, left the site about 6 months ago. When he left, his discussions went with him. (I hate that about Ning.) That is too bad, really, because that topic received more responses than any other discussion thread on A|N that I have ever seen -- well over 400, I believe.

Well, I don't plan on leaving A|N anytime soon, so I'm going to ask that question all over again. We've had a lot of new members since the first time, so this will be a good chance for all the new faces, and some of the old, to vent once again about why they are single.

So, why are you single?

Tags: atheist singles, companionship, dating, lovers, partners, romance, single, singles

Views: 2138

Replies to This Discussion

I learned something new. Thanks Jason! :-)

Is a subwoofer a synonym for a boom box? I always thought boom boxes were just really loud speakers. That's what it sounds like from your description.

Do night clubs and bars use subwoofers? I always assumed they used only speakers. If yes, would I be able to easily identify where the subwoofer was located after I entered such places? I can usually locate the speakers within minutes after entering these places.
Subwoofer and boom box are not the same thing. 'Boom box' is really just a portable stereo but they were given that nickname when the speakers got good enough to bring out the bass tones.

I don't know about nightclubs/bars - I imagine they might use Subwoofers but also really huge speakers can achieve a similar effect.

Having worked in movie theatres, more and more of them are using Subs or something similar so that you can 'feel' the explosions.

That's interesting that you can locate the speakers by feel. As an audio/video tech (jack of many trades .. master of none) I'd find it way interesting to take you behind the screen of a movie theatre - especially one with THX - to see how you 'feel' it!

Also Eric, have you ever been in a church with those massive organ pipes? I'll try and find the article, but reading once about low frequency sound (lower than human hearing) I came across a study on pipe organs. It found that once the pipes get big enough, they emit a frequency around 17hz; in what I believe was the upper beta frequency of our brainwaves. Anyway, it was the frequency that controls fear, anxiety, nervousness, sorrow, and similar heavy, intense emotions.

The article theorized that the master architects of these old gothic churches somehow knew (or at least guessed) about this effect and incorporated it into the church design. Why then do people claim to feel 'better' at church? Same reason I enjoy psychological horror films. For Theists at least, it's a safe place to let those emotions flow, especially with a priest there to pat you on the back and tell you it will be all better.
No, I can't locate the speakers by feel. I can visually locate them in most night clubs and bars pretty quickly. They look pretty obvious. If they're large, I can feel them better, and if they're right next to the dance floor, even better. If the speaker is attached to the ceiling then the bar or night club rates lower in my opinion and I probably will be less likely return to that night club or bar again because I can't enjoy the music as well.
I don't know if I've ever been inside a church with massive organ pipes. Either probably not, or it happened too long ago for me to really remember. I didn't know that a particular frequency sound could be associated with a certain category of emotions.
A subwoofer is just a kind of speaker. I'd be astounded if nightclubs didn't use them, but they might not be obvious, because they're designed to shake the building as much as the air, so they don't really have to be aimed at the crowd or anything. They would look like a big black box next to the stage, maybe.
Aha, so it would look exactly like a speaker, because it's a kind of speaker! I wouldn't be able to tell them apart, then. I always thought if I saw a black box, that's the speaker. I've experimented with the best ways for a deafie like me to enjoy music, but have never felt that I always got "there."

I have a new question for you. What would you call a device that picked up music in its environment and then reflected it back out but with some kind of built-in programming such that certain frequencies amplified and others reduced? I don't know if such a device exists.

The closest thing I have seen to such a device is empty corrugated cardboard boxes. If you have a ghetto blaster at a great distance and you're holding that box, it amplifies the vibrating parts of the music and leaves the rest of the music behind. All you have to do is hold the music and you'll know immediately that somebody must be playing music somewhere in the neighborhood. Even if you're a deafie and you're not wearing hearing aids, you'd know within a few seconds that the pattern of the vibrating you felt with the box just had to be that of some nearby piece of music.

It would be great if a body-hugging wearable version of this device existed that I could wear into any music environment. Such a device would greatly enhance the enjoyment of music for folks like me.
Subwoofers often have the speaker pointing down toward the floor, so you might not even be able to see the speaker cone.

We're getting pretty far off the topic of the thread, but your suggestion for a personal bass-amplifying device is interesting, and not just for deaf people, I suspect. There are devices that filter sound by frequency (regular speaker systems have filters that direct the high notes to tweeters and the low notes to the subwoofer, for example), and there are devices that manipulate ambient sound, like noise-cancelling headphones, so technically, there's no reason such a device couldn't be made.

The problem is power, however. The lower the pitch, the more power is required to drive the sound. To get the really low notes that you want, you'd probably have to have a sizeable battery pack, and even then it might not last long. Think of the power required for a bass drummer to swing his arm and mallet into the drum skin. A couple of AAs won't do it. Still, I think you're asking about a vest kind of arrangement (to feel the sound in your body), so it might be feasible, if bulky. It would basically be a wearable subwoofer.

Maybe something like this with a battery pack and a microphone and amplifier in a safari jacket and/or backpack. I don't think it's going to be stylin', but it might work. Also, somebody appears to be pursuing a patent for just what you're talking about, though it's probably made to be wired to a game system or stereo; I think you'd need to add the microphone. The patent application claims that less power is needed because they don't have to rely on moving the air between the speaker and the person. I found these links by searching for "wearable subwoofer". You might be able to find more.
It's about as tiny a subwoofer as they come, but for my little 20' motorhome, it makes for a nice little computer speaker system. Not to mention agonizing temptation when the cat chooses to snooze on it, which is often.


I would say alot of things lead to me currently being single for an extended period of time, but the short version is that I just was not looking for anyone.

The long version is a series of decision I made to stay single:
-Did not want there to be a chance to accidentally have a kid so early in life.
-I wanted to get my life together to be able to offer some basic stability.
-I am very content/happy alone.
-My dad made several bad choices with his wives, which made me wary. While his choices are not my choices, it did make me more cautious.
-I am highly self-sufficient and content, so the urge to possibly upset that balance always made me wary. Of course everyone would like someone to love and care for, but up until now, the risk involved, in an otherwise happy life, was not worth the reward.
-It is important for me that a future relationship develop out of a strong friendship, instead of the other way around, with a friendship developing out of a relationship and/or generic-dating.
-I respect my future partner enough, to not want to give any less then 100%. I don't treat relationships as light entertainment, because there are to many emotions and hurt feelings at stake. So out of respect for others, and for personal sanity, I was just not ready until recently.

But all of the above has changed. Alot of it was intentional to get me (safely?) to this point in time where I feel I can give someone 100% of my attention.

Alot of relationships puzzle me, seeing that many couples have very little in common, and yet people still come together, sometimes for the longterm(sometimes not). So many relationships seem to be more of a "business" relationship for security, bills, kids, etc. I can't think of a single married-relationship, among all the people I have known over the years, where someone has pointed to their husband or wife and said "this is my best friend". I'm sure many would, if asked, but I don't see it when they talk about their spouses. In many cases, even friends are kept separate from spouses. This is a topic I am trying to explore more, to find out why relationships without common interests work for so many people.
I can't think of a single married-relationship, among all the people I have known over the years, where someone has pointed to their husband or wife and said "this is my best friend".

I've known a few couples who truly seem to be soulmates, but I know what you mean. Too many out there seem to get married because "That's what you're supposed to do."

Years ago working for the airlines and taking full advantage of the travel benefits, cow-orkers would tell me, "Oh that's so great you can do that now while you're young and single."

A) I wasn't aware there was an age limit to get on an airplane.

B) I'm not going to marry someone who doesn't either share my interests and/or respect them.
Dude, that hurts!
Wow Don, really really sucks. Never been that used in love but I have in other ways. Makes it hard to trust again. I just have to remind myself that the good experiences outweigh the bad.

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