This question was asked before by another member of Atheist Nexus who, unfortunately, left the site about 6 months ago. When he left, his discussions went with him. (I hate that about Ning.) That is too bad, really, because that topic received more responses than any other discussion thread on A|N that I have ever seen -- well over 400, I believe.

Well, I don't plan on leaving A|N anytime soon, so I'm going to ask that question all over again. We've had a lot of new members since the first time, so this will be a good chance for all the new faces, and some of the old, to vent once again about why they are single.

So, why are you single?

Tags: atheist singles, companionship, dating, lovers, partners, romance, single, singles

Views: 2181

Replies to This Discussion

Danielle, you're absolutely right -- it's a liability, not an asset! I'm now 37, been back in school since just turning 30. Most of my classmates have been 10 to 15 years younger, and even many professors, my age or younger. So, I started dating younger men. It's got its advantages and disadvantages. It can become a habit, though...

People think if you're half-way decent looking, intelligent and interesting, you can have your pick, but I've found quite the opposite to be true. I've been TOLD I intimidate, I've been disparaged for my education, and I've had physical and verbal responses that pretty much indicate some serious problems. One guy walked into my apartment, saw all of my books (I have 2 Bachelor's, 2 Master's, am an instrument-rated pilot, and am 3/4 done with a Ph.D.) and cursed me to a life of solitude, "You're WAAAYY too mental, and NO man is ever going to put up with that!" before storming out. Another male roommate, proclaimed upon meeting me and having the get-to-know-you discussion, "You pretty much never want to get married, do you?" He was just being honest. And, if I had a nickel for every, "Why can't you be more...?" or "Why can't you be less...?" Well, because I just can't not be me, ya know?

Unfortunately, even in this day and age, you almost feel you have to downplay any accomplishments that don't include a spread as centerfold in Playboy Magazine. I for one, however, make no apologies, and if that keeps me single, hey! At least I'm being myself...
People who won't date you because you're educated and accomplished are much too stupid to be worthwhile. Their loss.
hmmm... i think i'm single primarily because i'm more of laid-back/reserved type of personality. i mean... i'm pretty outgoing when it comes to meeting friends, and have plenty of female and male friends, of various ethnicities, and from different areas and upbringings. i'm just not super aggressive when it comes to dating though... i think a lot of it has to do with being the type that isn't miserable being single either. I enjoy my life and my friends, so it's not like i'm at home depressed about someone not calling me or whatever. Being in a relationship would be awesome, but it would have to be healthy and with someone who at least remotely had the same lifestyle and/or worldview. I'm not one for being in a relationship just so that i'm not alone, those types always seem to be miserable either way.
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How did you figure out they were sociopaths, Jonathan?

They are so charming, it is often hard to tell.

charm... and charisma.

"Charisma" in the conventional/popular sense AND "charisma" in the religious sense of 'charismatic', which are truthfully the exact same thing.

In an original study, kindergardeners were tested for their ability to lie, in relationship to their popularity,... the very essence of charisma... the study found that those boys with the highest ability to convince/lie were also the most charismatic, showing leadership in the group. Females with the ability to convince/lie, however were not group leaders.
In the same way that multiple studies have demonstrated that most of our corporate leaders have strong psychopathic tendencies, seemingly necessary to run large corporations.

All the pieces of the puzzle fit perfectly together. It is extremely rare to find female sect leaders... and one of the oddest aspects of human nature IMO. Of course this does not say that NO females are psycho/socio-paths... just that they are much less frequent, and to experience this in females 'hurts' more, whereas in males it is almost an expected behaviour.

Let me give a more immediate answer:

I'm presently single because the guy at work who seems to be totally compatible with me in terms of being an Atheist, compatible politically and morally, similar sense-of-humor, similar taste in music and media, cat lover, similar love of outdoors and nature and even fans of the same goddamned brand of incense, appears to be not the least bit interested.

Grrrrrr...........
have you tried puttin the moves on this dude? maybe he's just not good at pickin up on hints.
I've tried just enough that I'm convinced he knows but just isn't interested. (But not enough hopefully to make an idiot of myself. Man I suck at flirting!)

Grrrr.......
I suck at flirting too, that I don't even try. My best friend was really annoyed with me when she figured it out.
No rule against fraternization. But now I'm told he has a long-distance kinda/sorta girlfriend. So I'll not delve any deeper and convince myself that it's not a dis-interested thing, just a bad-timing thing. Yes, that is my story and I'm sticking to it.

*Crosses arms stubbornly and defiantly*

And Larry ... thanks for the ego boost. 8D If ever you make it to Nowheresville AZ (and it looks like I'll be hanging around here for part or all of the Winter as my seasonal job is ending), I'd happily invite you to help me critique the dinner menu at the new Mexican joint. Oh, and make fun of our town's aptly named "Church Row." ;-)
I had a similar thing with a friend. I was ga ga over him, he . . . not so much . . . over me. He is now dating a woman 24 years his junior. It sucks, doesn't it. And I did try to put the moves on him--before he started dating her--to no avail. :-(
I'm single, because I'm shy and I'm not a person that needs to be around someone to be happy. Which is why I'm not in much of a hurry to enter the dating game. I've grown used to being alone (loner), but it sure would be nice to be in a relationship. My parents have noticed how I isolate myself from my family and they think I don't care if they are there or not. Thing is, I do care about them, but I'd rather be alone. My mother told me she's a loner (or was), so maybe it's hereditary.

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