This question was asked before by another member of Atheist Nexus who, unfortunately, left the site about 6 months ago. When he left, his discussions went with him. (I hate that about Ning.) That is too bad, really, because that topic received more responses than any other discussion thread on A|N that I have ever seen -- well over 400, I believe.

Well, I don't plan on leaving A|N anytime soon, so I'm going to ask that question all over again. We've had a lot of new members since the first time, so this will be a good chance for all the new faces, and some of the old, to vent once again about why they are single.

So, why are you single?

Tags: atheist singles, companionship, dating, lovers, partners, romance, single, singles

Views: 2287

Replies to This Discussion

I'm single because I have an inferiority complex. I used to be severely overweight and I still have a poor body image because of that. Also, I know that I'm pretty nerd even by nerd standards. I've only had two relationships that I would really consider close relationships, both of which ended badly; all the others were too short lived or there was little to know chemistry between us.

A lot of that feeds into my being single; I know it's mostly me handicapping myself and most if not all of it is irrational, but it forces me into a kind of shyness and timidness that makes it hard for me to meet women in general.
We could start a new group: Nerd Girls Who Think Jack Is Cute.

Hmmm...confusing. Sounds like you're responsible, outgoing, and fun. That should all work for you.
Trust issues, developed in X-relationships
I'm single for probably a lot of reasons. I grew up believing that dating was sinful and that it was inappropriate to have contact with boys. Even having a crush caused me to have massive guilt. I still carry a lot of baggage from those days. I'm also very shy and I don't really get out much. But I think the main reason is that I'm a big girl--over 6 feet tall with some extra "padding." I've come to the conclusion that guys tend to steer clear of the girls they could imagine in a wrestling ring. :P
It is sad that people raise their children under such repressive and anti-human circumstances. As far as being big, some guys really like that.
I worked with a woman once who swears she is going to write a book titled:
Stupid Shit People Say to me Because I'm Tall and Asian.
That sounds like it would be a freakin' awesome book!

Methis, by fessing up about your "visual" standards you are displaying honesty, which is a trait far too uncommon in our society. My visual/physical standards determine the amount of sexual stimulation I experience. Intellect only gets me part way. I have had tons of great lovers with insufficient intellect to create a relationship to my satisfaction. I have had only 2-3 intellectuals who've allowed me sexual satisfaction, all the other intellectual potentials were sexual catastrophes.

I'm with you Danielle. 38, mother of two. Been separated for two years. Have plans to go back to school but am having to wait till the paperwork for the divorce is completed. Am making a stern promise not to be flattered by attention. To look REAL closely at whom ever I spend time with. I will not be pulled in again by somebody who's all flash and no substance. My friends tell me that they enjoy my intelligent meanderings when certain subjects come up. My positive attitude, etc. I don't expect to have too much difficulty finding somebody in the end. But I have other priorities right now. Dating is messy. And I don't need the challenge of managing another mess right now! :-) How ever welcome the distraction would be.
Danielle, you're absolutely right -- it's a liability, not an asset! I'm now 37, been back in school since just turning 30. Most of my classmates have been 10 to 15 years younger, and even many professors, my age or younger. So, I started dating younger men. It's got its advantages and disadvantages. It can become a habit, though...

People think if you're half-way decent looking, intelligent and interesting, you can have your pick, but I've found quite the opposite to be true. I've been TOLD I intimidate, I've been disparaged for my education, and I've had physical and verbal responses that pretty much indicate some serious problems. One guy walked into my apartment, saw all of my books (I have 2 Bachelor's, 2 Master's, am an instrument-rated pilot, and am 3/4 done with a Ph.D.) and cursed me to a life of solitude, "You're WAAAYY too mental, and NO man is ever going to put up with that!" before storming out. Another male roommate, proclaimed upon meeting me and having the get-to-know-you discussion, "You pretty much never want to get married, do you?" He was just being honest. And, if I had a nickel for every, "Why can't you be more...?" or "Why can't you be less...?" Well, because I just can't not be me, ya know?

Unfortunately, even in this day and age, you almost feel you have to downplay any accomplishments that don't include a spread as centerfold in Playboy Magazine. I for one, however, make no apologies, and if that keeps me single, hey! At least I'm being myself...


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