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When should I tell, or is it necessary?
Unlike many others, I didn't have any traumatic experiences with religion as a child. I was brought up in a Southern Baptist home. My mother taught Sunday school and we went every Sunday. Usually my father, who was not a church goer, would pick me up afterwards and my mother would stay for "preaching."
As a teenager, I stayed for the entire time, but didn't "accept" Jesus until I was 29 years old. I never went to church during my college years. I married a Methodist girl at 22, but we ignored church until our oldest child was 3 years old.
It was my decision that we would attend a local Baptist church and raise our children in that church
For many years, we were active members, but internal turmoil led us to start another Baptist church, along with several other families, after we had enough of an authoritarian pastor. We continued to be active in the new church. I taught Sunday school to adults and became a deacon.
Once again, internal strife led me to stop attending and I was through with the Baptist "message." Also, my children had reached adulthood.
I attended an Episcopal church a few times, and my wife and I both attended Methodist churches a few times.
As time has gone on, and I have studied the history of Christianity, as well as other world religions, I've concluded that all religion is irrational bullshit.
My dilemma is that I am 60 years old now. Nobody invites me to church any more. I can't remember the last time I prayed, and my life is much simpler than when I was "churched." I don't know whether to admit my atheism to my adult children or to my social circle. By the way, I live in Georgia ........a notch in the bible belt.
I think I'll mention my deconversion if asked. I suspect my son is an atheist. My daughter is a critical Baptist, who is raising my grandchildren in church, but she's very good at recognizing bullshit like her Daddy.
Thanks for reading. Any advice? It many here on this forum are much younger than I am.
As a teenager, I stayed for the entire time, but didn't "accept" Jesus until I was 29 years old. I never went to church during my college years. I married a Methodist girl at 22, but we ignored church until our oldest child was 3 years old.
It was my decision that we would attend a local Baptist church and raise our children in that church
For many years, we were active members, but internal turmoil led us to start another Baptist church, along with several other families, after we had enough of an authoritarian pastor. We continued to be active in the new church. I taught Sunday school to adults and became a deacon.
Once again, internal strife led me to stop attending and I was through with the Baptist "message." Also, my children had reached adulthood.
I attended an Episcopal church a few times, and my wife and I both attended Methodist churches a few times.
As time has gone on, and I have studied the history of Christianity, as well as other world religions, I've concluded that all religion is irrational bullshit.
My dilemma is that I am 60 years old now. Nobody invites me to church any more. I can't remember the last time I prayed, and my life is much simpler than when I was "churched." I don't know whether to admit my atheism to my adult children or to my social circle. By the way, I live in Georgia ........a notch in the bible belt.
I think I'll mention my deconversion if asked. I suspect my son is an atheist. My daughter is a critical Baptist, who is raising my grandchildren in church, but she's very good at recognizing bullshit like her Daddy.
Thanks for reading. Any advice? It many here on this forum are much younger than I am.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on -
There's no hard and fast rule, Harris. It really has to be about your comfort level, your audience at the moment, your environment and how it will react to your assertion of your atheism. I make no bones about my atheism, but then I'm here in Cleveland, Ohio, where the religiosity is nowhere near so thick as it might be elsewhere.
As for being invited to church, I wouldn't go, myself, and I don't miss it. Last time I attended church regularly was probably 40 years ago, plus, so it's nothing even remotely like a regular part of my life. I'll gladly walk my daughter down the aisle when the time comes, if it comes in a church, but at this point in my arc, I won't compromise myself to suit someone else's delusion.
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Permalink Reply by Richard ∑wald on -
Welcome to A/N, Harris,
Loren's right, there is no "hard and fast rule". But, there's a point where you should probably ask yourself, "What kind of a world do you want for your descendants?"
I would suggest you read this book, just in case you think there isn't anything you can do to help shape the future your grandkids will have to be a part of.
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Permalink Reply by Napoleon Bonaparte on -
That's too bad about your church social life.
Does Georgia have a free internet ? If so, you can meet like-minded free-thinkers online and attend events, even shake hands with Richard Dawkins.
The future's so bright you need to wear shades.
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Permalink Reply by Richard ∑wald on
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Dude, wrong Georgia.
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Permalink Reply by Harris Wynn on -
Lmao
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Permalink Reply by booklover on -
I'm glad you at least found Atheist Nexus Harris! Welcome and you are not alone! Maybe you could sort-of hint around with your son and maybe he will confirm he is an Atheist and then the two of you will have each other to talk to?~ Melinda
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Permalink Reply by Steph S. on -
Harris welcome to the site. I was also brought up Southern Baptist and went to private school. I went through many religions before I finally made it to Atheism not too long ago. I guess only you can tell when the time is appropriate to bring up your Atheism. I am the only Atheist in my family and only one other knows at this time.
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Permalink Reply by Harris Wynn on
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Thanks for the welcome, everybody. Maybe I should say it this way: My total indifference to practicing religion led to a realization that I am indeed an atheist.
For several years I've jested that I don't bother god and he doesn't bother me. Most get the point without my having to use the A word........if that makes sense.
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Permalink Reply by J J on
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Harris,
My goodness man you're 60! You've raised a successful family and led a fulfilling life to date. If you were in danger of losing your livelihood or life itself, I would tell you to tread lightly. It seems to me that you should feel confident in coming out or not coming out as you see fit. You have already demonstrated that atheists are the type of people one would want to be like. There are of course things in your life that cannot be gained from your short post, but based on what you've said, I would ask, "Why should you keeping living a lie?" Who and how does anyone benefit from that? You suggest that your son might be an atheist, do you think he has the same reservations that you do? How do you think it would affect him if you came out first?
Like I said, from your post I can't garner enough specifics to give you definitive advice. But, ask yourself, what's important to you; weigh the consequences, and realize the evidence you have given points to the fact that you deserve to be taken seriously, whatever your final decision is.
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