"You're just bitter that you haven't found a man yet who will fuck you."
"Yeah, it's because no one will have sex with you, right?"
I get this from a right-wing nitwit because I am asexual.
One uber-religious taxi driver told me that a need to get married and have kids because it is in the bible.
I just got a new one!
"Not having kids is CRUEL because you're not thinking about all the people who can't have children. It's just like, laughing in their face because you can have kids but refuse to!"
That sounds like when Dawkins claimed we should all be happy to alive because we are the few that made it.
This one is so risibly paternalistic, that it's outright brilliant: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/16/opinion/brooks-the-age-of-possibi...
I quote: "People are not better off when they are given maximum personal freedom to do what they want. They’re better off when they are enshrouded in commitments that transcend personal choice — commitments to family, God, craft and country."
So the purpose of having kids is to constrain and channel one's otherwise unfettered tendencies. Children are good precisely because they limit our choices, for otherwise we'd run amok, and would ultimately be unhappy.
Freedom is slavery!
I haven't heard many weird ones, but there's a few. How about this one? "You're never really going to be ready for kids, so you should have them anyway." Yeah, I've seriously heard that one...If you're not ready, you shouldn't. And one rule of thumb I was taught really helps with almost anything: If you don't know, don't.
Here's another one I've heard: "Have kids while you're young. Instead of being young and broke, you'll be young and have money when they graduate and move out." I honestly don't get this one. Having kids is a drain on your money, but you'll probably notice that you have more once they move out, which could be longer than when they turn 18 and graduate or their early to mid-20's if they go to college. Of course, it could depend on the economy too.
"You're never really going to be ready for kids, so you should have them anyway."
I've heard that one too. Then, in the next breath, they're complaining about all of those "welfare mothers" who "have kids before they're ready and able to take care of them." Okay, so which is it?
Not on topic, but every bit as silly.
Years after my wife and I split, a woman told me, "If you marry again you'll have someone to cry at your funeral."