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What is the best response to "Jesus loves you"?

I live in a very religious town, so I hear this saying about 2 or 3 times every week, whether it be to me or someone near me. I usually don't respond when it is said to me, but what do you think a good response would be?

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Permalink Reply by James Boring on August 9, 2012 at 2:47am

There's got to be a good, short and sweet response though.

A sort of not exactly rude but, "make them think" response...?

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Allan H. Clark on August 9, 2012 at 8:59am

The problem is you can't know the situation of the other—they might be going through terrible difficulties and just have chosen an inappropriate way of reaching out. Your response might seem cruel.

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Permalink Reply by James Boring on October 14, 2012 at 1:48am

Perhaps the difficulties have in part to do with an existential problem?

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Permalink Reply by T.A.D. Tijerina on August 9, 2012 at 9:33am

"Which one? The one who works for a pittance as a kitchen help at the Golden Wok, or the one who mows my neighbor's lawn for a pittance but compensates by screwing his wife when he isn't home?"

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Permalink Reply by Steph S. on October 14, 2012 at 10:32am

Yeah - let's not forget the pink unicorn - it loves them back - hahaha

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Permalink Reply by Napoleon Bonaparte on October 14, 2012 at 9:45am

You talkin to me? You talkin to me?

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on October 14, 2012 at 10:31am

Yeah, Jesus LOVES Travis Bickle ... HOOBOY!

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Permalink Reply by Steph S. on October 14, 2012 at 10:32am

that's good Napoleon

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Permalink Reply by Two Cult Survivor on October 19, 2012 at 2:06pm

How about: I hope he doesn't love me as much as he loves my sister. He loved her so much he let her die an excruciatingly slow and agonizing death from Lou Gehrig's disease just so he could bring her to him in her early 50s instead of letting her live the full live she so richly loved. I don't need that kind of love from Jesus.

Or how about: Jesus loves me? He must not know what I think of him!

Or: "Jesus loves you."

"No, I'm sorry. Jesus doesn't love me, because I don't hate my family as he commanded."

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Permalink Reply by James M. Martin on October 19, 2012 at 6:21pm

Just say, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law."

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Permalink Reply by Phil on October 19, 2012 at 7:47pm

"Gee, I hope he didn't get the wrong idea. I appreciate his interest, but what works for me is a clean, sane woman. By the way, how do you feel about gay marriage?"