What is the best response to "Jesus loves you"?

I live in a very religious town, so I hear this saying about 2 or 3 times every week, whether it be to me or someone near me.  I usually don't respond when it is said to me, but what do you think a good response would be?

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Permalink Reply by Vangelis Stamatopoulos on January 24, 2011 at 1:23am
Jesus is dead.
Permalink Reply by §kürrý on January 24, 2011 at 10:22am

"His name is 'Hey-Zeus' and I know, he sends me flowers all the time."

 

"I'm sorry, who?"

 

"whew, are you sure?! Did you tell you? I've been worrying about that because I haven't heard from him."

 

"What a coincidence, Odin loves you!"

Permalink Reply by Nick on March 6, 2011 at 1:47am
"Odin loves you " is the best
Permalink Reply by kara on October 14, 2012 at 10:12am

It's mean but i always liked this

"wasn't Jesus nailed to a cross....my God has a hammer, any questions!" 

Permalink Reply by Park Bierbower on January 24, 2011 at 11:00am

if he loves me then why haven't I ever seen him in person, talked to him, gotten a letter from him?  why hasn't he ever sent me flowers, told me "good job, i'm proud of you," lent me a hundred bucks, helped me move, given me a hug, told me things will be alright when I was sad?  Why hasn't he ever argued a point with me, discussed art, talked about sports, merely complimented me randomly, cooked me a surprise dinner, taken care of me when I was sick...

 

If someone loves me, why is it they've never done anything that the other people who love me have done?

Permalink Reply by Park Bierbower on January 24, 2011 at 11:01am

btw pic related; its his love for the little children.

 

Permalink Reply by Will Faithless Sophia on January 24, 2011 at 11:15am
LOL
Permalink Reply by Carla on January 25, 2011 at 9:01am
Yikes! Disturbing AND funny!
Permalink Reply by Rachel on February 12, 2011 at 10:54am
OH MY DOG!!!!! HAHAHAHA
Permalink Reply by Gina H on February 23, 2011 at 8:12pm
Hahahaha.... Too funny!
Permalink Reply by Michael Peterson on March 27, 2011 at 4:32am
Too bad it's not a priest ;(
Permalink Reply by Alan Perlman on July 18, 2012 at 9:50am

I nominate this one as the winner.

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