The best response: "Whatever".
Ask them to "Ankh if they love Isis"
And yet another response:
"WHY would I care that some guy who died 2,000 years ago loves me?"
A semi-serious response might go like this: "If Jesus loves me unconditionally, then where is the benefit in becoming a Christian? If on the other hand the love of Jesus is contingent on my assuming a particular stance, then how can salvation genuinely be a free gift?"
I'm almost positive that the "unconditional" stuff is not in the N.T.
Jesus has a lot of conditions, most of which his followers ignore.
If you gotta react, OVERREACT! Nothing succeeds like excess!
He told you that? Why on earth would he tell you? Or...are you just a snoopy asshole digging through the magic sky guy's files?
Father christmas loves you.
My new favorite reply is, "I love Lamp!"
OK how about replying, "Yes, but does he love me in a Biblical sense?"