What is the best response to "Jesus loves you"?

I live in a very religious town, so I hear this saying about 2 or 3 times every week, whether it be to me or someone near me.  I usually don't respond when it is said to me, but what do you think a good response would be?

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Permalink Reply by Michael Peterson on March 27, 2011 at 8:16pm

That's not jesus' fault :[

Off to the doctors to get penicillan!

Permalink Reply by Napoleon Bonaparte on March 27, 2011 at 3:09am
Permalink Reply by Michael Peterson on March 27, 2011 at 3:21am

"Allah is most gracious,most merciful!"

How much does that mean to you? Ok, now STFU.

Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on July 11, 2012 at 1:19pm

Or, "Allahu akbar! Lulululululululululu!"

Permalink Reply by Michael Fulton on March 27, 2011 at 12:07pm
But he never returns my calls...
Permalink Reply by Larry W Snider on March 27, 2011 at 8:09pm

Have you tried breathless, maniacal, laughter?

Usually works for me,,,,,

Permalink Reply by Dogly on July 11, 2012 at 8:36am

"Well, isn't that special?"  (Remember 'the Church Lady"?)

"May the Goddess of the Tree spread her gracious limbs above you, and may the Sun God Ra shine his light upon you, and may........................."  With a warm smile and a clear intent to continue my blessing ad finitum.

Permalink Reply by Idaho Spud on July 15, 2012 at 2:44pm

Love the Church Lady!

Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on March 27, 2011 at 8:26pm

May the force (or the schwartz for Spaceballs fans)  be with you.

 

Or in honor of Leonard Nimoy's 80th birthday, give the Vulcan sign and say "live long and prosper."  If that doesn't get them to redirect, try a Vulcan neck pinch.

 

I had a friend who always said Lenny Lives! (meaning Lenny Karvitz)

Permalink Reply by mthoreau on March 30, 2011 at 12:59pm
I love Jesus too, but in a gay way.
Permalink Reply by Secular Forces 2013 on March 31, 2011 at 1:45am

w/o humans god(s) would never exist

jesus (whatever son from whatever creatoin myth story fable) was a martyr painted with a broad brush and even had parts of his life written into books surely authored by what whould be considered violent criminals today. and along came education and communications;

 

perhaps a perhaps too complex comeback could be

"Jesus loves me? So I can love you back; an atheist loving a christian; you sure you wanna go there?

When do I push on you 'come to the atheist meetup w/me?'"

 

I wonder how many folks realize when their pockets are getting picked or actual criminals are within the pews watching and waiting; networking. for jesus/god/money dugh.

 

they must really fear or hate this site; the hurt, maybe dangerous, looking for love, kind of bad people.

push on.

Permalink Reply by Emma Lennon on March 31, 2011 at 4:58pm
"Are you telling me that a DEAD guy loves me, and that you love him too? Well, I don't. Because that's called necrophillia."

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