I live in a very religious town, so I hear this saying about 2 or 3 times every week, whether it be to me or someone near me.  I usually don't respond when it is said to me, but what do you think a good response would be?

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superb!
i'd say "rubbish" or "Bullocks".  Simply because I love those words lol
Lol, now that's funny!
And I thought he didn't kiss and tell! Damn soccer players.

Hand them an Eric Cartman CD.

"But he never CALLS!!!"
You know he might love me but why in hell would he tell you?
I'm gay for jesus~ he asked me to put his body in my mouth
Or you might be a cannibal - a Savioriphage
I say "PROVE IT"

"I'm glad thinking so makes you feel good" 

or... if wanting to offend: "I know....  My ass still hurts."

Great answer " my ass still hurts '

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