"His name is 'Hey-Zeus' and I know, he sends me flowers all the time."
"I'm sorry, who?"
"whew, are you sure?! Did you tell you? I've been worrying about that because I haven't heard from him."
"What a coincidence, Odin loves you!"
It's mean but i always liked this
"wasn't Jesus nailed to a cross....my God has a hammer, any questions!"
if he loves me then why haven't I ever seen him in person, talked to him, gotten a letter from him? why hasn't he ever sent me flowers, told me "good job, i'm proud of you," lent me a hundred bucks, helped me move, given me a hug, told me things will be alright when I was sad? Why hasn't he ever argued a point with me, discussed art, talked about sports, merely complimented me randomly, cooked me a surprise dinner, taken care of me when I was sick...
If someone loves me, why is it they've never done anything that the other people who love me have done?
I nominate this one as the winner.