I live in a very religious town, so I hear this saying about 2 or 3 times every week, whether it be to me or someone near me.  I usually don't respond when it is said to me, but what do you think a good response would be?

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Jesus is dead.

"His name is 'Hey-Zeus' and I know, he sends me flowers all the time."


"I'm sorry, who?"


"whew, are you sure?! Did you tell you? I've been worrying about that because I haven't heard from him."


"What a coincidence, Odin loves you!"

"Odin loves you " is the best

It's mean but i always liked this

"wasn't Jesus nailed to a cross....my God has a hammer, any questions!" 

if he loves me then why haven't I ever seen him in person, talked to him, gotten a letter from him?  why hasn't he ever sent me flowers, told me "good job, i'm proud of you," lent me a hundred bucks, helped me move, given me a hug, told me things will be alright when I was sad?  Why hasn't he ever argued a point with me, discussed art, talked about sports, merely complimented me randomly, cooked me a surprise dinner, taken care of me when I was sick...


If someone loves me, why is it they've never done anything that the other people who love me have done?

btw pic related; its his love for the little children.


Yikes! Disturbing AND funny!
Hahahaha.... Too funny!
Too bad it's not a priest ;(

I nominate this one as the winner.


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